The More You Gain, The Less You Have {Ejen Ali Fanfic}

Chapter 4

Ali's P.O.V.

Damnit... what have I been doing?

Argh Ali Bin Ghazali, just why? Why can't you focus? Now look what you've done! Not only did the other two neuro agents hate me, but Roza got hurt unintentionally. Alicia got sneered at and now she's angry, all because I didn't follow her instructions.

Following instructions, how hard should that be?!

I sighed and continued to mentally reprimand myself of this bullshit I caused. Its just... she got cornered, and even if it's just child's play, I can't bare to see her being a target of anything. My body moved on its own, and I can't bare to see her being cornered! But then again...

Its just a game...

Just a damned game! A game! There's nothing serious about a damned game! So why the hell did I do that?! Why the hell did I do that?!

I growled lowly to myself, continuing to should things in my head, blaming myself. If I followed her instructions completely, we could've been joking around and the loser will treat us to desserts! And Alicia would be praising me for learning to use that kind of weapon...

But I didn't...

I sighed, Comot isn't around, probably to tag along with the others. Luckilly she is, I don't know how she'll reprimand me with her meows.

Its been thirty minutes since I've been blaming myself and end up standing in the middle of the sea of people, I walked towards a nearby bench and sat down. I sighed for the nth time and looked over at my hands.

"Maybe... I'm useless... just someone who causes trouble..."I mumbled to myself, sure, I know that following instructions is the most BASIC law in M.A.T.A.

The most BASIC law.

Skills itself, talent and intelligence. All of them are useless, if they can't perform the most basic law in the agency.

If I still can't follow that law, does that mean I'm still unfit to becoming an agent? This one is just a game, child's play. But what if I'm in the real battlefield? What if my uncoordination cause another mishap, or another danger to arise?

What if I cause another incident that will hurt her...?

I sighed and shook my head, deciding to head back to the rendezvous point which we promised to meet up. I hope that when I see her, I could have the chance to explain myself. A chance to make it up to her, a chance to make her happy in this vacation we have.

It took a while until I got to the place, numerous tables and chairs around with food stalls in the sides. I spotted Agent Rizwan and Agent Geetha in one of the tables, casually talking while Khai and the others are on another table, a relatively larger one which fits 4 people at a time, the other vacant table are seated by Khai and Moon. Alicia is nowhere to be found, it's a bad thing but... perhaps she's cooling off... like she always does...

"Hey..." I smiled and sat on a vacant seat which is parallel to the two agents which I am relatively close with. Comot probably taking one of the seat beside Iman, I guess Alicia will therefore end up right beside me...

I should probably think of what I should do when she faces me.

"Oh man, I think I still left my guts back there." Khai laughed as I watched how Moon and him talking about that rollercoaster ride which they rode just moments ago. And Khai looked like as if he not only left his guts but also his soul. Didn't think that Khai was afraid of wild rides if not for Moon's persuasion.