Martin had been adamant on meeting my unnamed friend the second I let it slip that it was indeed a him and not a her. I didn't have any good reasons to decline his request so I agreed and told him we'd meet up at a local café. I hadn't had time to think it through, nothing inside my own head made sense, it was like trying to calculate the sum of 2 and 2 and getting the answer horse written on your calculator.
How the fuck was I going to do this? I knew with my entire existence that I had to end things with Martin, he deserved better than being left in the dark and he deserved to be happy. I couldn't be the one to make him happy anymore and that hurt like a bitch to think about.
There was a road block however.
One magnificent, slightly tanned, bright eyed, tall, exceptionally handsome road block with the voice of an angel.
Martin has spent hours upon hours listening to BTS with me. We've seen music videos, variety shows, interviews. I am a fan and he never made me feel bad about my interests but instead made an effort to learn about what I was passionate about. At the time I felt blessed for having a boyfriend who cared that much about what I liked.
But right now...
Right now I wish I didn't know that my boyfriend could without fault name each member of BTS just from the back of their heads or their fashion style. It would make things so much easier if Tae wasn't so recognisable.
Sitting in the café a couple of blocks from the apartments I couldn't keep my leg from shaking under the table. Martin was going to walk through the door any moment now and I was going to have to try and explain why I was sat here with a Korean celebrity who was currently trying to hide his appearance behind a big black hoodie and a black baseball cap to match, finishing his stylish looks with a pair of sunglasses so tinted you could see yourself in them.
"Stop being nervous, you're going to give Jin a headache."
Taehyung was in my head.
I took a deep breath trying to calm myself but it rendered useless as the door opened and my boyfriend walked through with a bright smile and a wave in my direction. My pulse was up again, my leg bouncing like no tomorrow and I bit the inside of my cheek hard to try to keep my focus on the conversation that was about to happen.
I smiled back at him and gestured for him to join us, standing up and receiving a kiss on the cheek as he approached us. Martin wasn't suspicious, nor in a bad mood. He just wanted to meet my friend. I'm the one who winds the entire situation up by reading into everything thoroughly because I know something's up. My head is straight up messing with my view of reality.
As Martin turned towards Tae however, he stopped in his tracks. Apart from the sudden halt, he held himself well, downplaying what ever must be going through his mind, or maybe it was my mind again. Shit.
They shook hands, and Martin sat down. He looked back and forth between taehyung and I and I uncomfortably shifted in my seat trying to distract myself from the approaching instinct of running out of there.
"So umm... coffee anyone?"
They both nodded, I got up and got in line, this was as close to escaping I could get right now and I tried to gather my thoughts as I waited for my turn.
"Taehyung doesn't like coffee" came from a voice I've learnt to recognise as Jin. I smiled. I actually knew this fact about him already, but I felt a form of reassurance in the proof that the other guys were with us right now. Taehyung had probably let them listen in to it all or something. I need to ask him how to control that connection thing better.
I got myself and Martin a latte with an extra shot of espresso and a big mug of a fruity and sugary tea for Tae. I returned to the table to what seemed like an awkward silence resting in the air around the men.
We talked for about an hour. And in that I mean I talked and they both looked at me and once in a while they would turn and glare at each other. I've never been in a situation like this before, but I'm pretty sure this is not the norm.
After coffee, Martin suggested we'd drive Tae to his hotel on our way back home. Thankfully he knew to decline said offer to not make it known how close he was living to our apartment.
I'd spun a brilliant lie made up almost on the spot with a little bit of help from Hoseok; Taehyung was on a trip to learn english, and I'd been chosen as a host of sorts. But it had been last minute and kept secret for the event not to be covered by any news outlets. Conclusion of the blatant lie was that I had been chosen to keep taehyung company and translating for him when necessary.
Somehow the fact that I didn't know Korean never came up as a subject so me only thinking halfway through the awful lie didn't backfire like it could have had he lingered on that fact.
The drive home was painfully silent, it was like I could see the cogs spinning in Martin's head. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I absolutely hate how the soulmate bond was trying to convince me to somehow get out of the car and find Taehyung who had stayed at the coffee shop after we left. I wasn't even touching Martin and my body was telling me I was too close to the wrong man. I wanted to scream at it. Tell it to give me a breather, that I know he's not my soulmate. God I wish it had a snooze button.
Up until now I had appreciated Martin's silent nature. We usually communicated better through sharing experiences and touch. But now his silence was slowly doing a number on me and the guilt hiding under my lungs was growing, threatening to explode.
"We need to talk"
The look in Martins eyes that came as his response was painful to see. He knew it wasn't a good talk. He had known something was up yesterday too.
I had no idea how I was going to say anything. Didn't know how much I wanted to explain, did I want to include Tae in the explanation? No, hell no.
I knew I had to do something. Say something. Express something. I had after all introduced that we needed to talk to the table. I was looking for words to make the situation less of a situation while trying not to hurt his feelings or make him hate me. I was terrified of the idea of hurting him, while also painfully aware that I was going to have to do just that to satisfy what I now considered being my soul's "sweet tooth" for seven Korean men I've never met. Of course without mentioning that fact.
The result of no plan, a painful urgency and seven curious men in my head was what I would call the most uncomfortable breakup in the history of breakups.
During a glass of wine on the sofa I had begun to explain how I thought we needed time apart, that I needed to think and "breathe my own air" as I so poetically put it. Martin abandoned his normal silent self in favour of a loud accusation of this being about my obsession with a Korean boyband. And Taehyung's arrival clouding my mind with ideas of a romance that would never happen.
I had started crying somewhere between "I never meant to hurt you I just don't think we're gonna work together and I didn't know how to tell you." and "No martin I haven't cheated on you, you're not thinking clearly please put the vase down carefully it was a gift from your mother"
When he stopped threatening to throw things around he started saying he was going to leave the apartment, I stopped him.
"Martin, you've got work in the morning, and I don't. I'm the one who broke up with you, I'm the one that should leave"
He had also started crying earlier, and as I motioned for the door and got ready to leave he fell to the floor in low sobs.
I wanted to hug him, I wanted to comfort him. Tell him I loved him and that I would never leave him. But that wasn't the truth. I was at fault here. His tears are my doing, his pain is my fault. I couldn't handle looking at him any longer and left the apartment as tears fell like a waterfall down my face.
Exiting the building I was in my own world, looking down to not let the neighbours see I was crying when I bumped into a pair of brown leather shoes under a pair of tan trousers and I didn't even need to look at who it was as their arms wrapped around me and I broke down in the embrace of my soulmate.
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Complete us - A BTS ot7+1 Soulmate story.Fanfiction
Hannah did not believe the stories about soulmates were real, but how else can she explain how she woke up on her 20th birthday with a soul mark and seven different voices in her head?