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Finding out you have soulmates is a beautiful thing, realising there are people in this world that are meant to give your body and mind happiness and comfort is thrilling to the point of no comparison, and growing to care to for them is a privilege, a gift and a task all hurled up in one.

But being in the middle of a group hug consisting of seven men you've grown to care for like that, after they've told you they want you in their life despite you being selfish and hurting them is even without the thrill of the soulmate connection one of the best feelings I've ever felt. And cocooned within the arms of these men I never wanted to escape it.

I kept comparing everything surrounding my soulmates to how I felt before I had ingested the blocker, almost like I was checking a spread sheet to find the differences before and after. I knew what I was feeling for them was dampened because of the blocker, my emotions were at a normal capacity while the bond made by the soulmate connection almost working to expand the space of regular emotions to make room for more, bigger and louder feelings.

But despite the comparison, and knowing this hug wasn't as powerful as it could be, my emotional spectre was so full of love at this moment I couldn't think of anything being better than just being here surrounded by them.

Jin was the one to break the hug after an unknown amount of minutes spent in each others embrace, emotional as all hell and taking comfort in each other's warmth.

"I made all this food, it's running cold, please eat it!" Was all he had to say for our soulmates to scatter around the table to find seats and indulge in the delicious food Jin had made for our talk this morning.

The atmosphere in the room was definitely different from when I had first walked into the apartment that day. Affection was loudly being thrown between the men around the table, and the laughs and genuine smiles coming from them brought a new sense of calm within me that I didn't know I needed until I felt it. It felt like hope, like I could do this, like life could go on even though I had hurt the people I cared for the most in this life.

I was still sat on Jin's lap without really thinking to move once people gathered around the table, he was warm, calm and snuck soft kisses against my neck once in a while just to remind me of his affection should I ever forget. It sent shivers down my body and I leaned into his touch while I watched our other soulmates be cute with each other around the table.

Jimin was feeding Jungkook rice, both giggling when grains made their way to the table instead of into their mouths, Namjoon had his arms firmly locked around Yoongi who was sat on his lap eating steak and giving him every other forkful of food, it was innocent but it allowed me to see how Jin had admitted they'd toned it down to not scare me away.

It seemed obvious in this moment that this was how it was supposed to be, it seemed more natural, flowing even through the room. Like we were a family and all we needed was each other's company.

A couple hours later I was sitting on the floor at my favourite spot by the window taking in the view from the high set apartment. Leaning onto Namjoon's chest my head was neatly tucked right under his chin and his hands were dancing in soft patterns across the exposed skin on my arms. His touch was electric, even now, and I loved the feeling of him against my skin.

We were making up stories to fit the tiny people in the distance walking around on the ground, giving them names and backgrounds and telling each other where they were heading or where they had been. It was a fun pastime. We giggled at stupid tales and I could almost not contain my laughter at Namjoon's intricate story about Edna. Edna was an old lady walking insanely slow across the road who according to him was actually a top athlete in disguise, spending her days dressed as an old lady walking across roads slowly just to be an annoyance to the public.

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