COLLEAGUES AND FRIENDS

SHARING IS CARING

I went to work and had one complicated surgery replacing a persons hip and knee on the same side. I normally don't do two surgeries on the same day on the same side  on one person.  The man had a wife and several friends who were occupational and rehabilitation therapists  which they all agreed to work with him.  This surgery took awhile. I started at 7:00 a.m. and my team and I were done at 12:00 noon.  My team and I took break and were back in surgery at 2:00 p.m.
This surgery was a left rotator cuff surgery. We finished by 4:30 p.m.
I checked on my two patients and left at 5:30 p.m.

My appointment with Jane with Dr. Lintz is at 6:30 p.m. Dr. Lintz had a few days of late appointments.

I arrived a few minutes before Jane.  Dr. Lintz came out to meet us. Sitting in her office was another lady I dated briefly in college.  Dr. Lintz introduced us to Stephanie Logan.  Stephanie recognized me right away and Stephanie asked Dr. Lintz if she could speak to her privately out of her office. I excused myself and went out to meet both.  I was cordial with Stephanie and she said her good byes. Dr. Lintz apologized to me. I thanked her and I told it was good to find out today than rather when Jane built trust and we would have a joint session. Jane wasn't stupid and asked me who she was to me.  "Jane she was a girl I dated while I was un med school and it ended on bad terms. I haven't seen her since than." Dr.  Lintz apologized and informed Jane she had hope for Stephanie to be her new therapist.  Because after todays appointment, she didn't see a need for Jane to continue sessions with her.
I already knew todays session was going to be difficult for Jane and now this had to occur.

Dr. Lintz encouraged us to go over our couple assignment first to give Jane some breathing room. The couple's assignment took fifteen minutes to complete.  Here comes the hard part.  Jane went first. Jane explained to the doctor that her mother drops by very frequent using a key I gave her for emergency only etc. The doctor could already see problems with that. Jane continued that we had went to dinner after one the appointments and went to one of the places we like to frequent and ended up staying at a bed and breakfast do the road conditions. "My MA gets real worry if she doesn't hear from me at least every other day.
We returned the day she surprised us. She saw my jeep and expected me to be home and my dog wasn't home either because I allowed my brother to take him for several days. She made dinner for herself and I and did m my laundry.She finally realized  I was with Maura when she saw some of Maura's clothing. Well Maura had given me a hickey and I did the same. She left before I could get a word out. I told Maura that tomorrow we should stay at her place, because I would not want her barging in while Maura and I was being intimate. Being with the same gender is new to me and me being raised in the catholic church may not go over well with her. I am not ready to announce to my family nor friends my feelings for Maura."

Dr. Lintz asked me how that made me feel. I explained to her that I had written my views just on this issue alone.   I could already tell Jane didn't care for the word issue. "I felt bad that Angela felt the need to leave suddenly like she was intruding . I came out to my family and friends that I was bi-sexual in college.  I now feel Jane wants me to hide my feelings towards her from others.  I will not do this for anyone. I have strong feelings towards this. I did this once and was close to committing suicide. I don't want to revert back to those feelings.  Jane I know being with a woman is new to you and take time, but I won't compromise in this area of our relationship if we can call it that. I love myself too much now not to go there again. If you cannot come to terms of me expressing my feelings openly to you in front of others than I rather we just go back to being friends."

This was alot for Jane to take in and I knew that. Jane asked me, "is this why you asked me that night I joined you in the shower, if I was sure several times and continue to ask my
permission while we made love that night?"
" Yes. " Dr. Lintz ended the session when Jane walked out.  Dr. Lintz handed me two other therapists for Jane to look into. "Dr.  Isles if you see Jane needing some medication to assist her, please contact me immediately any time of the day or night. I know I always use your first name but today addressed issues even as a lesbian psychiatrist I have for you two. I normally don't reveal my own sexuality to patients. I see several red flags from her side of disclosure alone that she will need therapist to assist her and maybe just a friend for now." We said our good byes. I tried several times contacting her and even stopped by her condo.  I voiced mail and text her the two names Dr.  Lintz gave me for her. I let her know that I still had strong feelings for her.  I went home to swim lapse in my pool to unwind.