The Lili Hummel Diaries

February 21st, 2021

A/N: See the bottom to see what Lili was wearing to prom. Also, TW rape is briefly mentioned.

When we arrived at prom, everyone stared at me. I mean when I had a black eye and I'm a sophomore at senior prom. So they had a right to stare at me. I had arrived with Kurt and Blaine, so as soon as Quinn had seen me, she had run over.

"Hey." Quinn hugged Kurt, then looked at me,

"You sure about this? It's not too late to duck out." I shook my head,

"Nope, I'm staying here." Quinn smiled,

"Ok! You ready for our duet?" I nodded, Quinn hugged me, Kurt and Blaine looked at one another,

"Do you mind staying with Lili so that Blaine and I can get a slow dance in?" Quinn nodded,

"Sure. Go have fun you two, I'll keep Lili company." Kurt hugged me and whispered in my ear,

"Be good, and if you need me just ask Quinn." I nodded,

"Ok. Go have fun with Blaine." Kurt and Blaine went to go dance, the music and my anxiety were not mixing well so when Quinn looked away I walked out of the gymnasium. I went and sat by Kurts locker, trying to calm my brain down. I started whispering to myself,

"Cmon Lili get yourself together." "You can do this." "Go back in there." I felt my anxiety getting worse,

If only Kurt was here. I need him. I need to go get him. I can't go back in there.

"Lili?" Quinn's voice broke through my thoughts. I brought myself to look up, Quinn sat down next to me,

"Hi." Quinn hugged me,

"You okay? Also, be glad I noticed you disappeared before Kurt came back."

"Yeah, I'm fine." I wasn't okay but I didn't need Kurt worried about me,

"Okay, you're not fine. Anxiety attack?" I shook my head,

"Kinda, I think it was more just being separated from Kurt." Kurt came running down the hallway,

"Lillian don't scare me like that!" Kurt went to grab my hand, I flinched,

"Please don't hit me. I didn't mean to scare you." Kurt slid down next to me,

"Hey, I would never do anything like that to you okay?" I nodded and press my head into Kurt's chest, trying to get my mind to be quiet. Kurt looked at Quinn,

"Can you go get Blaine? He has more experience with this kinda stuff." Quinn squeezed my hand,

"Yeah sure." Quinn got up and left, Kurt began rubbing my back,

"It's gonna be okay Lili." Blaine and Quinn came more or less sprinting back. Blaine saw Kurts face and immediately knew what to do.

"Lili, she's not here. You're safe. Deep breaths." I tried to bury myself in Kurt,

"Kelly please don't." Kurt looked at Blaine,

"What's wrong with her?!" Blaine slid down next to Kurt and me, he peeled me away from Kurt and held me close to his chest, rubbing my back in circular motions.

"She's having a flashback, probably ending up triggered. I don't know how to stop it. All we can do is keep her from hurting herself." Kurt began to freak out, all I could see and hear was Kelly trying to rape me,

"Kelly please no. I don't want you being my first." Blaine and Kurt looked at each other,

"Did you know?" Kurt sook his head,

"No, she didn't tell me much." There were a few minutes of just me whining and crying, and Kurt, Blaine, and Quinn sitting in silence trying to process,

"If Kelly raped her then who knows what else has happened to her." Quinn's voice was shaky, Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand,

"Blainey I'm scared." Blaine nodded,

"I know I think we all are." Then all of a sudden from the pretty much unconscious ball I was in between kurt and Blaine I let out a blood curling scream. Quinn terrified slides over and grabs me,

"Lili you need to snap out of whatever is going on with you. Kelly isn't here, our duet at prom is in fifteen minutes and I want to slow dance with Joe. It's gonna be alright." Coach Beiste and some of the glee guys in the football team came running down the hall, the sight of more people had terrified me more and so I ran down the hallway into the football field onto the bleachers. I took the pocket knife out of my dress, and opened it, and contemplated whether I really wanted to do this. After about a minute I closed the knife and put it back into its pocket on my dress and began to cry. I cried for a solid fifteen minutes without interruption, then I heard a soft-spoken female voice from the bleachers,

"Lili? It's Quinn." I tried to wipe the tears away but they kept coming,

"Hey." Quinn sat down next to me, and began to wipe my tears away,

"Don't try to tell me your okay. Uh, Kurts worried about you, so is practically the entire school." She placed her hand on my leg, wrapping me in a hug. I smiled and whisper so quietly that I barely heard it,

"I like you." Quinn nodded,

"I know, and I like you too. If Joe and I weren't dating I would totally date you." I smiled,

"Really? Kurt said you were straighter than Rachel." Quinn laughed,

"I mean I kind of am straight. I'm bi, just not out yet." I hugged Quinn, and grabbed her hand,

"Well, when you come out and when you and Joe break up I'll be right here." Quinn looked at me, even though it was pretty much pitch black outside I could feel her nervousness and see that cute little smile that rarely came out,

"I was thinking, Joe and I, we aren't really official. So joe can be the main guy and you and I could be in the shadows." I smiled,

"Like Emma and Alyssa in The Prom?" Quinn grabbed my hand,

"Sure, but way better." Quinn scooched closer to me, then quicker than a lightning strike,  leaned forward, and kissed me, I reciprocated the kiss. Quinn pulled away,

"That was dumb. we should probably head back now." I grabbed Quinn's hand,

"Listen, that wasn't my first kiss, but I wish it was because," I made explosion motions with my hands, "It was like fireworks." Quinn smiled,

"We should probably head back." I nodded and we went back into Mckinley High.

A/N: so this dress and this hair is what I see Lili in at prom