The Lili Hummel Diaries

July 10th, 2021

I wrapped my arms around Sam, who picked me up and carried me back to the choir room. Finn tried to grab me from Sam who whispered,

"Don't. They're in a fragile state right now." Finn nodded and Sam sat down next to Quinn who gently grabbed my hand,

"You okay? I know having people close to you leave is hard, but I'm basically a human golden retriever so I'll never leave you." I laughed,

"Thanks, Q"

- time jump to the next day. Lili is sitting on their bed, waiting. -

"Ok what about this?" Kurt walked out of the bathroom, wearing a kilt (because the author said so).

"Really? A kilt?" Kurt sighed,

"I'm running out of ideas, cut me some slack." I stood up from my bed and grabbed a suit jacket from mine and Kurt's shared closet. I handed it to Kurt who sighed, "Lili this doesn't match the kilt." I laughed and found the pants I was looking for,

"It's not supposed to. The kilts out, go put the suit on with a baby pink shirt on underneath." Kurt nodded and went back into the bathroom, reemerging a few minutes later. "See how much better that looks. Okay, let me fix your hair." I coifed my twin's hair to perfection, "Perfect." I helped my brother into the graduation gown and situated the cap on his head. Kurt began to tear up,

"I can't believe it's over. Man, those four years went by fast." I wrapped my arms around Kurt, mumbling a soft "I love you" into his ear. Kurt hugged me, "I love more." I laughed,

"Never, I love you most." Burt came down,

"Okay you two, we have to leave now."

-time jump to after the graduation because I don't feel like detailing that-

I was staring at myself in the mirror, collecting myself emotionally. At some point, Rachel walked down,

"You alright?" I nodded,

"Fine." Rachel looked at me,

"I know your lying. You don't want your friends to leave, you're worried about going long distance with your girlfriend, you're scared of what's going to happen next, where lives going to lead you." I looked up at Rachel,

"Are you saying that to me or yourself?" Rachel sighed and sat down next to me on the floor.

"Both, I think. You know New Yorks over nine hours away, and that's pretty far to be from someone your close with. I don't leave until late august but I already miss my dads, I miss being in the choir room, and although I hate saying this I already miss being slushied." I laughed, "I know this is weird because we barely know each other, but I'm gonna miss you, Hummel." Rachel hugged me, it took me a moment to realize she was crying,

"Hey, you okay?" Rachel began to truly sob,

"I'm scared to leave Lima." I hugged Rachel,

"Listen to me, you're going to go to New York and your going show everybody that you are a star. That you are as talented as Barbra and Sutton and Patti and Liza. That you shine just as bright if not brighter than everyone else. That you're not just a." My words were cut off by Rachel pressing her lips against mine, her wrapping her hands in my hair. After a few moments, the younger brunette pulled away,

"I...I'm sorry. I should go." I grabbed her hand.

"Stay. Please." Rachel sat down next to me, "Listen, I promise to not tell anyone about this until your ready." Rachel looked at me,

"But...But...But wouldn't it be easier for you to say that I kissed you? That I'm bi?" I shook my head,

"It would, but it's not okay. Listen truthfully, I understand what your going through. All I want you to do is just tell me everything that's going on in that brain of yours." Rachel sighed and wiped the tears from her face,

"I thought that the feeling I felt was just me preparing to miss everyone, but after a while, that feeling for you and Finn kept growing. I'm really confused because I just really want to kiss Finn over and over again but I have this same but different feeling for you." I looked at Rachel,

"Different how?" Rachel brought her knees to her chest,

"You know how you have those urges?" I shook my head,

"What kind of urges?" Rachel let out a small embarrassed squeak,

"Those urges to let your partner pin you to a wall and let them rail you until you can't walk?" I nodded, "I get those with Finn, but with you, they're almost dampened. But there are times when I do get them." I looked at Rachel,

"So sometimes you really want me to pin you against a wall and rail you but other times you just want me to kiss you?" Rachel nodded,

"Then there are times when I don't have any urges and I feel like I'm a weird sexless blob." I wiped the new tears forming on Rachel's face,

"Hey. Hey. Listen to me, it's okay. I promise you're not weird, you're just confused. I can definitely do some research about this and I think you should too." I brushed the hair out of Rachel's face, "Do you want to kiss me again right now?" The younger brunette nodded and I gently pressed my lips against hers. After a few minutes (like 3-4 minutes) the smaller brunette pulled away,

"What about Quinn?" I nodded,

"I'll talk to her, not that we kissed, but that we had a vibe exchange and that you told me that you liked me. Is that alright?" The brunette nodded,

"Yeah. Thanks, Lili."

-time jump to the end of August, about the time that school starts. Lili is standing at their locker putting up photos from over the summer-

It had been almost two months since what happened in the basement, and Rachel and I had kissed a few more times after that, not going any farther. I hadn't stopped thinking about that night, but I kept quiet about it as I had promised. I stopped when I got to a photo of Rachel that she sent me on her first day at NYADA. Sam snuck up behind me,

"Dude she's straight and dating your stepbrother." I laughed,

"Sam I don't like her, trust me." Sam laughed,

"Whatever you say, bro."

A/N: Soooooo finally got out of writer's block, and there's a love triangle??? square???. what do yall think about this update, and yes faberry might just happen and quil might just break up soon. 

total words: 1,107