The Lili Hummel Diaries

July 15th, 2021

I didn't know how to explain my feelings, so I stayed quiet. Wes kept cleaning the cuts, and Blaine went into another room, probably to call Kurt. Wes finished cleaning the cuts and sat down next to me,

"Can you please tell me what's going on?" I shook my head and stayed silent. Wes tried and failed, to get me to open up about what was going on. Blaine finally emerged from the other room, handing me his phone,

"Its Kurt, talk to him." I nodded having a minor flashback to how Kelly used to talk to me. Kurt could hear me breathing and instantly calmed himself down to not freak me out,

"Lili, what's going on? Blaine told me everything that he knows and you're freaking me out." I stayed silent, not knowing what would happen if I opened up. Blaine was getting frustrated and growled at me,

"Talk. To. Him." The tone in which Blaine said it triggered me and sent me into a flashback of one of the first times Kelly hurt me.

-Two years prior, Lili is sitting at a table, Kelly is pressing into them demanding that they admit they are depressed-

"Tell the goddamn truth! It's not that hard! I just want to help!" I wouldn't open up about it. Which resulted in Kelly's fist slamming into my face. This process repeated for days until I finally admitted I wanted to kill myself. Which resulted in an empty whiskey bottle being thrown at me.

-present time, Wes has an arm wrapped around Lili protectively, Blaine sits in the kitchen crying-

"Lili it's okay. Blaine didn't mean it that way, he just wants to make sure you're okay. Kelly's not here." I apparently began crying during the flashback, I wiped the tears from my face. I buried my face into Wes's shoulder,

"I deserved it." Wes held me closer to him,

"Don't say that no one deserves to go through what you're going through." I wish I was in New York, able to nestle myself into Kurt and just cry without judgment. I wish Kurt was here, but he's thousand of miles away. Wes looked over at Blaine, "Hey, they're okay now. Can you come back over here and talk, in a better tone?" Blaine sighed and walked over to the couch,

"Hey." I wrapped my arms around Blaine, and pulled him into a bear hug, "I'm sorry, I just want to know what's going on with you." I nodded and nuzzled into Blaine's neck,

"It's okay. I just have a hard time talking about feelings and stuff." Blaine nodded and kissed the top of my head,

"It's alright, you don't need to apologize."

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