The Lili Hummel Diaries

March 12th, 2021

                                                 -time jump since the writer got hit with inspiration-

"Ballad." Mr. Shue wrote on the board at the front of the choir room, "You will choose one person of your choice and sing them a ballad in front of the group explaining to them how you feel. Whether you say who it is is up to you." I looked at Quinn, who smiled at me then quickly looked away.

                                                                                        -Quinn's POV-

I wasn't sure how I felt about Lili, when we kissed it felt magical but it felt wrong. I can't stop thinking about her, and when I look at her I get weird feelings, the feelings I felt around Sam and Finn. I ran over to Lili after glee club,

"So, um, about this week's lesson, who are you, um, singing your, um, ballad to?" God, I was so nervous, Lili smiled at me and grabbed my hand, and whispered in my ear,

"You or Kurt, probably you." I hugged Lili who flinched,

"You okay?" She nodded,

"Yeah, not used to people touching me and being nice about it." I let Lili go and walked towards my locker,

                                              (Cue the opening notes to If Only from Descendents)

As I opened my locker I began to sing,

"A million thoughts in my head

Should I let my heart keep listening, " I closed my locker and walked to the choir room,

"'Cause up 'til now I've walked the line
Nothing lost but something missing" 

(Transport to the next day in the choir room where Quinn is sitting on a stool singing)

"I can't decide
What's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go" I looked over at Lili then looked away,

"If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?" Lili was staring at me so was the entire glee club, I was performing after all,
"Ah oh, yeah
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only
If only
If only" I looked at Joe who I was dating trying to tell people it was about him and me,

"Every step, every word
With every hour I am falling in
To something new, something brave
To someone I, I have never been

I can't decide

What's wrong, what's right
Which way should I go" I looked back at Lili feeling lost,

"If only I knew what my heart was telling me
Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh, yeah
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh, if only" I forced my eyes to lock with Lili's feeling completely helpless,
"Yeah

Am I crazy? Maybe we could happen

Yeah
Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out?" I forced my eyes to unlink and look at Sam, then Finn, then Puck, then Joe,

"If only I knew what my heart was telling me" I relocked eyes with Lili's,
"Don't know what I'm feeling
Is this just a dream?
Ah oh
If only I could read the signs in front of me
I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Ah oh

If only, yeah

If only, yeah
If only, yeah
If only, yeah

If only

If only"

                                                                   -Switch to Lili's POV-

"That was something." Mr. Shue's voice broke through my thoughts, "Would you like to say who that was for?" Quinn shook her head and ran out of the choir room, I chased after her I needed some sort of explanation after that.

"Quinn!" Quinn turned around,

"What?!" She was scared and anxious and tense, very tense,

"That song, we need to talk." Quinn looked at me, 

"Fine, but not here someone safe." I dropped my voice to a whisper,

"You okay?"

"No, I feel so lost and helpless. Like the song said, if only I knew what my heart was telling me." I wrapped my arms around her,

"Meet me on the roof after school, ok?" Quinn nodded dropping her voice to a scared whisper,

"Ok."

Later that day, on the roof of Mckinley High School,

I heard the door to the roof open, Quinn looked around scared for me,

"Hey, you actually came," Quinn seemed scared, "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you." Quinn came running over,

"What do you want?" I wrapped an arm around her shoulder,

"Do you love me?" Quinn began to cry,

"I  don't know." I rubbed Quinn's back,

"Sh. Sh. Sh. It's okay I won't force anything." Quinns shirt sleeve accidentally revealed a bandage, I grabbed Quinn's wrist,

"Did you? Who hurt you?" Quinn pulled her wrist away,

"It-its nothing, I'm fine. I should go." Quinn ran away, Kurt came up,

"Hey, you need to get home like now." I sighed and got up and went home with Kurt.