Saviour (Black Veil Brides)

Daddy Dearest

The drive back to the house felt longer than any drive I’ve ever taken. I was sat in the back with Carolyn but other than her occasional cooing the car was completely silent. It only took an hour to get back to the house but I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I saw the familiar gate up ahead.

When we got in my dad went upstairs to change Carolyn, leaving Emerson and I downstairs in the kitchen alone. I was sure it was his way of us getting to know each other but it felt forced and awkward, especially because I just wanted to hide in my room forever.

“So Bliss, how much has your dad told you about me?” Emerson asked and I jumped a bit in my seat as his deep voice cut through the silence.

“Uh, not that much, basically just how you guys met and stuff.” I kept my gaze on the table because I knew if I looked at him I’d be forced to continue talking to him and all I wanted was a chance to slip away.

“Oh, well is there anything you want to know about me?” he asked, his voice dropping a bit.

“Is there anything you want me to know about you?” I asked, my voice a bit harsher than I meant to make it.

“No, not really. I can leave if you’d like, I can go find your dad or wait in the living room.” By now my chest ached and I didn’t have the heart to look up because I knew exactly how pained his eyes would look.

“No, really it’s fine. I’m just not in the best mood. I’m really sorry for being so awful. Why don’t you tell me about yourself? I’d like to get to know the guy my dad’s crazy over.” I looked up to see his jaw tense and then relax.

“Okay, well I write for a travel blog which is why I was away this past week. I’m twenty seven, live alone and I listen to your boyfriend’s music.” My heart stopped at the mention of my boyfriend but Emerson was oblivious to it.

“My boyfriend?” I asked, careful not to look unnecessarily paranoid.

“Yeah, Cody. You are dating aren’t you? Your dad told me all about it. I think that’s pretty cool, y’know how he’s famous and all.” He looked at me with a smile on his face and I sighed a breath of relief.

“Oh Cody, yeah we’re not really dating anymore. I mean we’re good friends and all but we’re not together.” His cheeks flushed a bright red and I felt bad for being the one to embarrass him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. Wow, this is embarrassing. Let’s just pretend I didn’t say that.” A few seconds later my dad walked in with a bubbly Carolyn.

“Say what?” he asked as he set her on the floor to play.

“Oh, nothing. So dad, did you notice if Cody and Ailsa are home yet?” my attempt to change the subject was weak but he bought into it.

“Now that you mention it there’s a note on your door saying that you didn’t answer your phone but they’re gone out to dinner and they’ll be back later tonight.” I scrunched my face in confusion, why would Cody and Ailsa go to dinner and not invite me? They never do that.

“Oh, okay thanks.” The silence started in again and I took the opportunity to get upstairs. “I’m going to go upstairs and shower and let you guys catch up. I’ll be back down soon. Love you dad.” I didn’t even give him a chance to respond before I was out the door and half way up the stairs.

My room was dark and cold, though that’s how most of the house felt without Anabella and the boys, like I was stuck in the middle of a vacant field with nothing to see but the sky. It was eerie in a way and I was glad my dad was just downstairs.

I turned on the shower and then opened youtube on my phone and decided on 5 seconds of summer’s album. The water felt nice on my aching bones that didn’t seem to hurt until I was alone with my thoughts. I turned the music up louder and let the sound of the drums drown out the thoughts in my head. It wasn’t until the music stopped and I was met with unwelcoming silence did I realize I had been in the shower much longer than I meant to be. I quickly washed my hair and my body before turning off the shower and walking onto the cold tile floor. It stung the bottoms of my feet but not as much as the ringing of my phone stung my temples.

“Hello?” I asked as I wrapped a blanket around myself.

“Bliss hi! How is everything?” I was welcomed by the happy voice of my sister and I couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s good, dad’s over. He had something he had to talk to us about but it’s all fine. You’ll be okay with it but he wants to tell you himself so I won’t spoil it. How’s Andy?” she just chuckled.

“He’s good, as are the rest of the boys. Still all getting into trouble, even Andy who can’t breathe without muttering something crude under his breath.” It was my turn to laugh.

“How’s my baby girl? Happy I hope.”

“She’s great Belles, I’m just getting out of the shower now but later I’ll send you some pictures of her before she goes to bed.” I could hear her sigh in relief.

“I’m glad to hear that, well I only had a second to catch up but make sure to send me those pictures and I’ll let you get back to that. Bye Blissy, I love you.” I muttered an I love you too but I was met with the cold beeping of the dial tone and the realization that I’d have to tell my dad when I got downstairs whether I wanted to or not.

I dried off and put on a pair of pajama shorts and one of Ashley’s sweaters. It smelt strongly of nicotine and I smiled at the thought of him being mine. When I got downstairs my dad was on the floor with Carolyn and Emerson was nowhere to be found.

“Hi Bliss, how was your shower? You were up there for quite some time.” I forced a smile on my face.

“It was good dad, I got a little lost in thought is all. Where’s Emerson gone?” part of me hoped he would walk in the room at any moment but I had no such luck.

“I showed him where the spare room was, he just went upstairs to get a shower. Speaking of, didn’t you have something you wanted to tell me?” he asked, his eyes not leaving Carolyn.

“Yeah, about that. I really don’t want you to freak out but it’s really important and I need you to just hear me out okay.” That caught his attention and he looked up and his eyes travelled to my covered stomach.

“God dad, I’m not pregnant. I’m just, it’s about my boyfriend. It’s not Cody, it’s never really been Cody. I mean it was and I loved him but not in the way that everyone thought I did. I love Ashley dad, I love him so much and he makes me feel okay. He makes everything in my life okay and after watching you and Emerson I know that the way I feel about him is real and it’s valid.” He stared at me for a long time before he started to talk.

“How long has this been going on Bliss? Does he love you back?”

“Since I came to visit Anabella and Andy, I saw him and I just knew dad. And he does love me back, we love each other so much it scares us and I know you’re going to wonder if he treats me right but god he does and I don’t think I’ll ever love someone as much as I love him.” We sat in silence for minutes before he got off the floor and came over to me. He tucked my hair behind my ear and gave me a hug.

“My little girl’s all grown up and there’s nothing I can do about it” he said under his breath.

“I’m still your little girl dad, I’m just your little girl that’s taking control of her life. Are you okay with it?” I asked and he just smiled a sad smile at me.

“I have to be, you love each other and there’s not a bone in my body that could stop it, even if I wanted to.” At that I pulled him back into a hug

“I love you dad”

“I love you too Blissy, now if you excuse me I have a boy I really need to express my love to.”