Saviour (Black Veil Brides)

A new beginning

I walked up the stairs and put Carolyn in her crib, turning on the mobile above her head and the nightlight beside the door. The house was dark and nearly completely silent but i could hear sniffling and hiccupping. I walked down the hall and tried to open the door to my right but it was locked. I quietly knocked on it and the sniffling came to an abrupt stop. "Bliss? Ailsa? are you okay?" i asked not knowing which girl was on the other side of the door. "Go away Cody" a voice said that i quickly recognized as Bliss' "Bliss i'm not going away, tell me what happened. Did you talk to Ashley?" I asked, i was greeted by silence and i sighed. I reached for the doorknob, slowly i turned it and opened it. The room was dark but i could see Bliss huddled on a bed wrapped in a jacket much too large for her. Turning the light on i walked over to her. The room smelt strongly of whiskey and bubble gum, for the first few seconds it burnt my nose and made my eyes water. I was soon hit with the realization that this was Ashley's room and i knew Bliss was on the verge of a total mental breakdown. Careful not to touch her i sat down on the bed beside her and she sighed. "He doesn't love me Cody" she said placing her head in my lap. "Bliss I know that he was lying. It's obvious that he loves you. Maybe not to you but to someone who understands what it's like to love someone as amazing as you it's obvious. It's in the way his eyes go warm when he sees you smiling, or the way he looks at you as you walk away. It's in the way he talks about you, his voice steady and certain about everything he's saying. Bliss he loves you, believe me,it's an amazing feeling to love you. Especially if you love the person back. Call him again, please. I'll be right here. I'll talk to him if I have to just tell him how you feel, just one more time. Tell him about how much you love him and how much you never want to let him go, but also tell him that it hurts when he lies to you about things like this. Remind him that you may be younger but it's your life and feelings he's messing with and if you're going to put yourself through that then you'll just deal with the aftermath if anything happens." I said, slowly stroking her hair.

*Bliss's POV*

Cody was right, I needed to talk to Ashley. Reaching around the bed for my phone I couldn't find it. "Could I use you phone? I can't find mine" I said and Cody nodded, handing me his. I quickly typed in Ashley's number and listened to it ring. I never realized how anxious I was until I heard a familiar voice and I sighed. "Cody?" Ashley asked and I nearly started to cry "No Ash, it's me" I said, my voice small and quivering. "Bliss, I told you I don't love you. Why are you calling me?" he asked and my chest began to get tight but I fought through the pain and started spilling my guts out to him. "I don't care if you don't love me anymore. You are going to sit here and listen to everything I have to say Ashley and I don't care if you agree with any of it. You owe me at least that. I love you, I really do. I love you more than I even knew was possible. I need you and I've never been dependant on anyone before. Don't you think that scares me too? I'm terrified a lot of the time but it doesn't matter because when you're with me I'm more brave than I've ever been." My voice started to shake but I kept talking, not giving him a chance to interferer. "I may be young and naïve and I might make mistakes and want more than I can handle but that's my problem, not yours. Of course I could wish for a boyfriend like Cody, someone my age and more like me but I want you Ash, I've only ever wanted you. I've wanted you since the day I stood outside your door soaking wet in my ugly school uniform. You make my heart race and my stomach tie in knots. You make me feel safe and whole again. I'm not saying we have to spend the rest of our lives together I'm just saying I know I want to be with you for the next while." I stopped talking and sighed, thinking he may have hung up but I could hear the sound of a lighter and moments later I could hear him exhaling.

"Bliss, even after you said all that I can't help but think of all the hell I put you through, what am I supposed to do? Everything I do either hurts you or hurts me. What am I supposed to do when I get jealous of Cody or when I'm on the road and I can't see you? I'm going to be worried about you all the time; I'm already worried about you all the time. I can't explain how worried I am. I worry about you finishing school and I worry about your health and your feelings. I worry about your future, and I worry about our future." I could feel a lump forming in my throat as he spoke, everything he said made sense but I still wanted to be with him. I still wanted to spend every moment with him.

"I'll go back to school and see a doctor; I'll make sure Cody is here all the time when he can be so you don't have to worry about me being alone. I'll talk to someone about the things that happened to me in the past to help me get over them just please Ash please don't leave me. I feel completed when you're with me." By this time I could hear him lighting another cigarette and I wanted to laugh about him chain smoking at a time like this.

"Bliss, I need to go but please let me think about this. I'll call you later okay?"

"Okay, bye Ashley."

"Goodbye Bliss, and by the way, I love you too."

The line went dead but I just laid in Cody's lap listening to the dial tone. He loved me, Ashley still loved me. So many emotions were running through me, part of me wanted to laugh and another part of me wanted to scream and cry and smack him silly for being so difficult instead of just telling me how he felt in the first place.

"So how did it go?" Cody asked and I just smiled up at him, handing him back his phone. "I think I need a smoke."