Sincerely, Sin

5

Alana

Our food came, Sincere got a classic burger with sweet potato fries and I got buffalo wings with normal fries. We thanked the waiter, and I watched as Sincere whispered "Bismillah" before popping a chip in his mouth.
It was admirable to see him do that.
I bowed my head, taking my eyes off him and onto to my plate. This shit looks so good right now. I picked up a wing and dived right in, I couldn't care less how I looked. "You really was hungry huh, your boy ain't taking care of you?" Sincere said whilst smiling, how petty.
"He takes care of me perfectly fine, in ways only I can imagine" I winked at him, his smile immediately dropping. "Don't play with me Alana" he said, aggressively throwing a chip into his mouth. I giggled, serves him right.
"So how was it? being behind bars and all" I engaged in small talk, onto my third wing now.
"Why you care now" he asked, still salty from my previous statement. I rolled my eyes at him.
"If you're not going to answer, just say that Sincere" I said, drinking my cola from my straw.
"Naw forget that Lana. You had time and opportunity to get at me. Those letters were sent right?" He said, getting a little worked up, scrunching up his eyebrows.

Here we go again.

I should've second thought the idea of coming out with him. "Sincere can we not. This isn't the time and place" I warned him with my eyes, the restaurant was filled with people and children, us having this conversation wasn't ideal, knowing how we'd both get.

He took acknowledgment of our surroundings, unfazed and went back to the topic.
"Did you at least read my shit" he reached over taking a wing from my plate. I snacked his hand taking it back. "Of course I did" I said, as I placed the wing back on my plate and giving him a smaller one."It felt like I was talking to you in person" I confessed before taking a bite outta his burger that he held up to my lips for me.
"Is that right, I would've loved to experience that too" he said, biting into the wing, unaware of the wave of guilt his comment gave me. "I'm sorry" I quickly said. I don't know why I was apologising, I just felt the urge to.

How does he do this to me

He looks up, the corners of his mouth slightly turning upwards. "You good mama" he leaned forward, pecking my nose. His response put me at ease and we continued our little 'date' catching up, sharing laughter. "How's lil man doing" he asked, sipping on his drink, referring to my baby brother Anthony. "He's getting bigger by the day, he asks for you all the time" I said truthfully.
"My mom too. She never stops asking bout you" I playfully rolled my eyes at the thought.
He chuckles, "Ima check up on them some time" he promised before we were both distracted by the incoming call I got.

Rio♥️

Sin's face twisted, as he eyed me as I answered.
"Hi baby" I answered.
Sin leaned back, sipping on his drinking analysing me. I swallowed as I struggled to focus on what Rio was saying. "Yeah...um..sure, I'm just eating lunch with a friend, I'll be home soon" I said into the phone, Sin's face immediately twisting at the mention of him being a friend.

The call with Rio ended and I placed my phone back in my purse. "Why you ain't tell your boy you with me" he asked, leaning forward.
His arms now folded on the table.
"Because I haven't really discussed you to him and what you are to me" I took a napkin and wiped the corner of his mouth that had juice on it. "What am I to you" his eyes squinting, meaning he was reading me. "That depends" I finally finished what was on my plate, Sin's clean long time ago due to me eating his food as well.
"On what" he replied eagerly.
"On whether this we have can remain amicable"
"Amicable?" He repeated, his face mugging.
He chuckled before speaking again.
"You got it wrong mama" He said, passively licking his lips. "You see I let you have your fun, this past year you really blossomed, got on yo shit, I'm prada you, I made sure you knew that. But this lil picture you painted in yo head that don't involve me? Shit burned the second I stepped outta that jail cell" His voice calm, gentle but intimidating all at once. Before I could even respond with body language, "Roll them eyes Alana, I'll fix them shits real quick" He said, before biting the inside of his cheek.
I should be the one heated, not him.
"I told you we're done. I don't even know why I came out with you in the first place" I spat, before picking up my belongings about to slide out the booth.

"Sit the fuck back Alana"
he demanded. I hated that I listened.
He stared at me for a second,
"I'm not letting you go Lana"
He said, looking at me with vulnerable eyes.
I can't help but crumble inside.
I've come so far, had it all planned out, convinced myself that I was over him, moved on, found a new man. And one look at him was all it took.
"Sin..." I didn't even know what to say. Here I was, employed, financially stabled, independent and in a healthy relationship. But there was this torturing desire that needed to be fulfilled. I knew what it was, I just didn't want to admit it. I was in denial.

"Talk mama" Sincere grabbed my chin, tilting it up, noticing I was struggling to articulate myself.
"I just need some time...to clear my head and all on this, you, me...Rio" I gulped. He nodded, not content with my response but respecting it.
"Can you take me home please" I whispered out quietly, it was getting dark outside and I needed to complete a few chores, and explain to Rio yesterday's situation, and send off some documents all before getting into bed and waking up for my nine o'clock shift. He nodded, before signalling the waiter over. I pulled out my purse to pay. "You both paying by cash?" The waiter asked. Before I could respond, Sincere butted in,
"She ain't paying. And by card" the waiter had the card machine on him, so I couldn't even protest before Sincere tapped his card.
"All set to go. Have yourself a nice evening" The waiter said, picking up our plates and his tip.
Sin got out the booth, pulled his bottoms down a bit before taking out his phone and dialling a number. He motioned with his head that we were leaving. Great, the silent treatment.

As we walked to his car, he just spoke to whoever was on the phone. He opened my door for me and I slid in, letting out a small thank you for his kindness. He shut the door and got in on the driver's side. He held the phone in his right hand as he pulled out the parking lot with his left.
I got on my phone texting my friend from work about tomorrow's duties before texting my mom, asking about her and Anthony's well-being.
By the time I finished those conversations, Sincere had just ended his call.

There was a suffocating silence, with our breathing patterns being the loudest thing.
I reached to turn on the radio, before I could do so, Sincere intertwines my hand in his and brings it up to his lips to land a kiss on my knuckles.
"Don't touch my shit mama" he said jokingly. I chuckled lightly, happy that he's no longer sour with me. "Can you play some music then. It's real dull in here" I said smiling at him, he quickly glances at me before switching his gazed back to the road. His hand still tangled with mine, he pushes my index finger up with his own, and we both push play on the button making music erupt into the car. Back in blood by Pooh and Durk blasting. "Happy ma?" He looks at me, smiling, showcasing his dimples. I nodded back cheerfully, unable to control the butterflies in my stomach.

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Sorry this chapter was short. Kinda don't like how it went, idk. Somewhat mixed feelings. Let me know what you think so far on Sin and Lana and their complex relationship. Continue to like, share and comment. I see it all and It's much appreciated. Thanks guys xxx

Oh and P.S guys I'm from London, so I'm not used to typing American or Canadian (not sure where I want the setting be yet) English, I try my best with the obvious ones like 'Mom' or 'Napkin' but if you see something that you're not used to, please don't get on my neck for it 😩. But yeah I'm gonna stop talking now. Enjoy the rest of the book!