Decisions

Spiraling

Lyria's POV

"Hi Lyria, what's up" Cheryl said to me. I messed with my fingers trying to figure what I wanted to tell her again. "I uh, I wanted to talk with you for a sec. If that's okay with you Toni" I spoke up.

Toni and Cheryl looked at each other, and Toni nodded her head. Cheryl moved out of the seat and walked towards me saying, "Let's go somewhere less quiet". I nodded my head and followed behind her to a cafe.

We both sat down at a table and a waitress came over to take our orders. After our orders were taken, Cheryl looked at me and asked "So what do you wanna talk about".

"Well first I want to apologize for that Instagram situation, I was drunk and that was just a drunk post" I said honestly which made her sigh. "I understand, but you still have to be careful, drunk or not, because even though it may sound selfish, whatever you do, it affects me and things could go wrong for me".

I was going to speak, but she continued "You know that there were crazy fans that shipped us like those ones that hurt Toni. I don't want them to start hating Toni and trying to hurt her, because then she might start spiraling or something".

"Guess you moved on quickly" I mumbled, in which she didn't hear.

"I also wanted to let you know that I went to the house earlier to get my stuff, after seeing that you guys left the house". Cheryl was about to speak, but we got interrupted by getting our drinks. Cheryl sipped her coffee then placed it down at the table.

"About that, where are you even staying at, since you know, you kinda like moved out" she asked me. "I'm staying at Ana's house for right now until I get my apartment". Ana is one of my best friends that I met in college while doing photography.

"That's nice. So how have you been". I sighed and took a sip of my hair before speaking again. "It's not been fine, but I think I can handle it. I shouldn't feel this hurt, because I kind of expected this would happen, but it's just like that. I seen how you and Toni looked today when you guys were hanging out".

"How'd you know that" she asked while looking at me. "Fans kept blowing up my phone with the pics that paparazzi took" I mumbled and she looked at me with an apologetic face.

"I'm sorry about them, and I'm sorry that I broke your heart". "You don't have to apologize for that Cheryl. I just have to accept it like you clearly did". She raised an eyebrow and stared at me. After a while sitting in silence, she finally broke it.

"Just because you see how close Toni and I have been today, doesn't mean I have accepted it fully. Yes I'm sad that we went our separate ways, and I'm sorry we ended like that at the club. But I can't change how my heart feels and how it has been feeling for a while. If it wasn't for my heart, I sure as hell wouldn't have gone back with Toni, not that we're even official again. You may think you were a side piece, but you weren't. I felt a connection with you when we were dating, but it's just that Toni and I have a stronger connection. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but we have to let out the truth, so we won't be holding any type of animosity against each other. I hope we can be friends though, of course after we both feel we're fully over our heartbreak".

She drank her coffee and looked at me, expecting an answer.

"It just makes me feel as if you weren't that in love with me before, with how you can so easily be cuddled up and kiss Toni. If it was a few weeks, sure I guess, but we broke up like 2 days ago. I'm not trying to judge or anything, but I just want to air that out to you".

"Believe me when I say I was in love with you Lyria, I really was. But then that just turned into me loving you as like a really close best friend maybe even the love I have for you is platonic love. Maybe we should give time to ourselves for a few weeks, maybe even months and we can meet up again to see how our feelings are then". I just nodded my head and she smiled, nodding her head too.