angel monarch, a world famous poet, gets asked to help write a song with finneas o'connell and billie eilish after moving to new york. the only problem is, angel's identity is hidden.
writing a song proves pretty difficult but they make it work.
o...
7k reads what the fuck. a short little update to keep yall fed, exciting things coming soon i promise.
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The lead up to tour was more stressful than I'd like to admit. I shouldn't imagine billie having to go through this every time she went on tour.
There was always a constant schedule, full of meetings, prep, planning and late night phone calls with random people. I had spent a lot of time with billie and we'd been working on the new album together which was a lot different from her old music and I was so excited to finish it with them.
Finneas had taught me some basic production techniques while billie was in a meeting and it was just finneas and i, and we worked on some of his music.
They made me feel confident in song writing and basic music production and I was discussing with Lisa about working with other artists.
Thankfully apart from tour prep, life had been relatively stress free.
I'd started to eat regularly, I stopped binging and purging and I was working out more. There was still a long way to go but I wasn't checking my body in the mirror every second of the day.
My therapist had been amazing, we had a great connection and I told her stuff I'd never told anyone.
Including how I was falling in love with my best friend.
love.
It's so fucking crazy to think about. I didn't want to train anything or make a move when there was a high chance they'd get thrown back in my face.
I was comfortable with what we had right now, and sleeping in bed and cuddling with her was a lot less stress free.
I was becoming comfortable with her and trusting her with my body.
Yes I was still insecure, but I could wear what I wanted without thinking too much about it.
The first show was to tomorrow night in LA and after three nights of shows in LA we were getting the tour bus to the next location.
Theres been a lot of meetings and I was gonna start travelling with Lisa and four other members of the team who I'd seen a few times during meetings and was okay to travel with.
I was gonna be wearing STAFF clothing, spending a lot of time behind the scenes and pretending I was part of her crew, rather than Angel.
All team knew who I was but billie trusted them all, so I did too.
i was all introduced, with my 'real' name they needed to use, keeping my real identity a secret because nobody on the tour were allowed to call me angel.
billie laughed loudly when she suggested the chosen name for me and i was happy with it, knowing it made my dad laugh too.
Louis had been talking to me and he's been feeling a lot better, it doesn't get any easier when you loose a parent but you learn to live with the pain.
