voicemail | b.e

sixty one*

firstly i just want to say thank you so much for 70k reads. you guys help me more than you'll ever know.

i also wanna say although i wrote this book and created gabrielles character i am so proud of her progress. (yes i am crying and it's definitely not helping the fact i'm on my period) but she's come such a long way from how broken she was. some people noticed in the beginning with the things she said or did or whatever and to compare it to her now, is mind blowing.

it's almost like i'm growing with gabrielle, going through recovery and helping myself be a better person. (apart from the fact i'm not sharing a bed with billie eilish nor am i rich amongst other things lol)

but i just want to say if you're struggling with anything mentioned in this book; whether it be loss of a parent, mental health issues, body issues, an eating disorder, broken trust from friends, lack of experience in relationships both romantic and sexual and everything else. i'm proud of you.

i'm proud of you for waking up this morning, for being alive and for fighting as long as you have. from the bottom of my heart i love you guys and i wouldn't be here without you.

this book is my baby and she's been with me through some tough fucking months recently. look after her.

enough with the mushy shit, let's get onto the shit yall have been waiting for

"please make sure she comes back here alone, okay?"

"why" Lisa furrows her brows and I blush "because"

"oh..OH okay, yeah I'll talk to mike" she leaves the room muttering something about being glad she's not in the room next door.

so billie sprained her ankle.

we were already planning on coming but then billie text me in the airport and I saw the video of her and I knew right then and there she needed me.

when is she ever gonna learn!

I got the nearest flight I could which was a the perfect time and it made it so I had time to prepare myself, while billie was performing and coming back to the hotel.

after getting out what I need I hide my suitcase behind the couch and walk into the bathroom and take a quick shower, making sure not to get my hair wet and be as quick as I can, so billie doesn't come back while I'm in the shower.

I went online and bout a 'sexy' nurses outfit but it looks nothing like a nurses outfit.

it's basically see through lace with a piece of string and a leather red tight skirt.

I hope she likes it.

I apply red lipstick and check over myself in the mirror, happy with how I look.

i'm so confident in my body now, i would've never ever worn anything like this months ago, let alone let anyone see me in it.

I hear the door opening and I hold my breath, stilling my movements.

after a couple moments of shuffling my phone begins to ring.

fuck i forgot to silence it.

I fumble to grab it and the bottle of hairspray falls over onto the floor at the wrong fucking moment.

my phone flashes with a FaceTime call from billie and instead of answering it I swing open the bathroom door and look out on the bed.

billie has a shocked look on her face and her eyes don't know where to look. they dart at my face, up and down my body while she drinks me in.