Dare to Love Her | Michaeng

Chapter 17: Delusional

Chaeyoung had a funny dream, she was in a dark room which was very scary, she hated the dark, there was something in it that made her feel insecure as if everything was empty around as if she was trapped in loneliness since she was a kid she had hated it and as much as it pains her to admit, she had no got over that. She has learned to control the fear a bit, but with a storm and no light, it was all being a nightmare, except for one thing.

Mina.

That's why it was all a dream, it could not be real. She had been terrified of the dark and the storm, that's why she wanted it to be over, but she had also been terrified of holding Mina's hand and she hadn't wanted that to be over. Those were two different kinds of fear. One she couldn't control and it was awful to go through, the other one she couldn't control but it was all she wanted. But it wasn't real, it couldn't be real.

When Chaeyoung felt light, slowly opening her eyes, she saw how her room looked different from the perspective she was in and then she felt Mina's shampoo taking over all her senses. 'it's not real' Chaeyoung could not stop repeating that sentence over and over, she was not accepting that she had woken up to a snuggled up Mina surrounding her with her arms on her stomach and her head on her chest. 'it's not real' She felt dizzy, she needed to get out of Mina's hold, the girl would wake up with the racing heart under her head. Last night Chaeyoung couldn't stop thinking about everything Mina related, but especially, Mina's weirdly questionable actions that even though Chaeyoung had been telling herself are nothing but pure innocent acts of friendship were now taking another form. She was sure, it couldn't be all in her head, could it? she was not that blind, not like Mina. Last night she had let herself believe, just for a moment, that everything Mina did was not just because and it had been enough to mess with her mind, so right now she needed to let go of those thoughts, she needed Mina to go away. 'it's not real'

It was Saturday, she had no excuse to get up quickly and go to classes. But she could not stay there any longer, it was all too much, so she tried to move, but Mina held on tighter. 'see, clingy' she smiled 'wait that means she's awake' If she had not let her move it meant Mina was awake, how could she be awake and not have a problem with holding her like that, it was something confused Chaeyoung could not understand. 'Maybe she's just comfortable, I can be a pretty decent pillow' But why hadn't Mina said anything, 'Maybe she wants me here' Chaeyoung wishful thinking was back 'Maybe she's cold' That could be a pretty decent reason, suddenly she felt she needed to stroke Mina's hair. 'It just smells so good, she likes to play with my hair, it would be only fair if I get to do the same, right?' She was about to do it when Mina spoke in a hoarse morning voice.

"Morning." 'wow, okay, cool' Chaeyoung usually more like always, found it that Mina was really cute and adorable, the girl was always pouting and making meaningless tantrums or demanding things from Chaeyoung. She liked that. She cared for Mina, as in she wanted the girl to be okay and as in she wanted to hold her forever. But right now, she felt something different. Mina had made her nervous before, many times, feeling like she was floating, feeling nice, innocently, and unknowingly feeling for her. Right now, though, she felt another kind of nervousness, Mina's voice was sexy. Chaeyoung really needed to get out of there.

She cleared her throat before answering. "Hey." 'well done, Chaeyoung, keep your cool'

"I was trying to sleep you know," Mina said out of nowhere with a mocking tone.

"Uh, okay? why couldn't you?" 'you're the one that did not let go'

"You were being too loud." Mina then added, "Well you still are."

"What? I was not speaking." 'she's always complaining about nonsense I swear I-'

"Your heart is." 'fuck, why would she say that' Chaeyoung did not like Mina playing like that, because the girl had no idea how those things affected her, it was not fair. Completely embarrassed she tried to move but Mina stopped her again.