Dare to Love Her | Michaeng

Chapter 27: Outside

When Mina was a child, she had a teddy bear. The most amazing teddy bear ever, she loved it, she couldn't sleep without it. It even lost a part of the ear once but she kept holding tight to it. When she lost it it was the worst feeling ever, she didn't give up on looking for it for months but then it just didn't ever appear again. You could say it was her first heartache.

When Mina likes something, she gets too attached to that something. Sometimes she doesn't even realize how much she fixates her attention on a particular something. It could be a game or a newfound interest in some topic of the class, but everything she likes she commits to it, she stays on it. Right now, her newest fixation was Chaeyoung.

Maybe is the way that she feels so happy that gets her too attached to certain things. Maybe she forgets things that cloud her mind sometimes when she's too busy thinking about what she likes, it's safe. Chaeyoung does that, the girl makes her happy and safe but also scared and worried. The problem is she doesn't want to get away from her even if it makes her mind worry because Chaeyoung can also easily make it all go away.

Chaeyoung is part of the things that worry her right now but she is also what makes her forget all about it. When she's with her, everything feels better. When is just the two of them, she feels unbreakable.

This morning she woke up as usual earlier than her. They had fallen asleep holding each other but they almost never woke up in the same position, the girl was next to her in her apparently comfiest position to sleep, on her back with her hands behind her pillow. 'cute'

Last night Mina had the best time ever with her, she would've never thought of being in this position in her life, feeling things for a girl. Never. But she was loving it. The way Chaeyoung made her feel all the time was ineffable. Both physically and emotionally. Sometimes she felt embarrassed of how much she liked it, both parts, but mostly the way she looked so needy when they were together. She was aware she was but sometimes she amazed herself. She felt like a horny teenager, it was shameful.

 
She was not embarrassed when she teased Chaeyoung, it was fun, it was accelerating, it was great. But when Chaeyoung made her feel like that, when she was not the one in charge of the action, she lost it too easily. The weird part is that when she felt most lost in desire was when things were slow, Chaeyoung was so careful with her, so thoughtful, but her slow acts were as dangerous as her rushed ones.

Last night was interesting, it was new and exciting. She never gave it too much thought of what she did or felt with Chaeyoung, because when she did her mind would create bad feelings, scary ones, so she couldn't do that. That was one of the secrets to letting herself feel for Chaeyoung, just not thinking too much of it. Were they dating? Yes. Were they a couple? Yes. Did she feel like kissing her all the time? Yes. Was she going to worry about that? No. In her mind that was just it, there was no need to stress about it, she was not going to talk to anyone about it but Chaeyoung. There was no need to think more about it. Basically, she couldn't feel scared when she didn't give it that much relevance outside their room. It was a strange way of dealing with it but it had worked. Once she left through the door, Chaeyoung was only in the back of her mind. And once she returned to her room Chaeyoung was all that mattered.

So right now staring at the girl that was peacefully sleeping, she could allow herself to feel everything she wanted without worrying. She used one of her hands to reach Chaeyoung's lips and trace them. Mina was feeling at ease, calmed, but as soon as she felt them her heart reacted. She liked it so much, she had always liked how being close to her felt. Chaeyoung's face twitched a bit for the contact. Mina smiled. Moving her body closer she found a new position supporting her head in her hand while still looking at Chaeyoung closely. For some reason, maybe the joy she got from bothering her, she blew air on her face just a bit. Chaeyoung's face twitched again and she giggled. She got closer to her face and kissed her cheek, leaving her lips for a few seconds before returning to her position. She saw how Chaeyoung smiled, but she looked like she was still sleeping. So she did it again this time closer to her mouth. Chaeyoung hummed while smiling this time, making Mina smile wider. She stopped entertaining herself and changed her position to support her head in Chaeyoung's chest, cuddling her from the side. She could hear the girl's heart that it wasn't going fast since she was sleeping but she liked to hear it, either way, it was relaxing. She closed her eyes, this is what she wanted to feel all the time, even when she left her room, why did it have to be so hard? After a few minutes, she felt one of Chaeyoung's hands on her hair and the other reaching for her own hand that was resting in Chaeyoung's stomach. Mina liked when they held hands, it was so simple yet so beautiful.