Dare to Love Her | Michaeng

Chapter 25: I don't deserve her

The past few days, Mina had been living in a dream. Everything was nice and pretty, she got worried from time to time but Chaeyoung was always there to make it better. In her room everything was the same, her routine, their activities, it was all the same, the only difference is that she got to do all that while also not being afraid of the way her heart felt around her roommate and she never would have guessed, but being physically affectionate with Chaeyoung was one of her favorite things to do. If she had to number her favorite activities it would go like, in third place annoying Chaeyoung, in second place kissing Chaeyoung and the first place a combination of both.

But today, she woke up with her stomach weird, she was nervous. Today was Momo's birthday and it would be the first time she was going to be outside her room in the same place as Chaeyoung. They had been avoiding meeting outside, even if their friends usually lunched together, they had managed, but today was different. Mina was not feeling so good. That's why she got out of bed immediately instead of making her usual tantrum to Chaeyoung asking her not to go.

She went to the bathroom, washed her face, breathed for a while, and then she got out to pace around the room just trying to calm her thoughts, she even opened the glass window to feel the cold air at the little balcony, it was not working, her mind wouldn't stop overthinking, it's not like their friends were going to see anything different in them, right? But she was not thinking clearly. She turned to look at Chaeyoung, she envied the way she was sleeping so peacefully, maybe that's what she needed, to wake her up. When she was kissing Chaeyoung, her mind was just full of her and nothing else, maybe if she woke her up she could get distracted with that, it could work, it most certainly would work, just to calm down now. But no, that wasn't fair to Chaeyoung, besides, she looked so cute sleeping like that. And Mina didn't want to encourage the belief in Chaeyoung's head that she was too needy, yes, she was, but she needed to control that. It was not healthy to get rid of every bad thought with that method, even though it had worked until now, she knew it was only avoiding the main issue.

She told Momo and Sana that she was going to explain to them what had been happening with her, but in the end, she never did and they never asked and everything got back to normal as if nothing had happened. She was happy about that, she didn't feel like explaining, she just couldn't. She knew her friends and Chaeyoung's friends were not going to say anything mean to her, they weren't going to judge her or anything, well, maybe Chaeyoung's friends would not like her much for the girl but not because of the type of relationship but just because she had been so bad to her. The thing is that if they knew, then maybe someone else might know and what if everyone knew and her Mom knew and Kwan knew, no, that was just not a possibility. This was not working, she was not getting any better, it was being worse. 'fuck this'

She closed the window and got back to bed, cuddling Chaeyoung from behind. 'much better' She kissed her cheek a few times. "Wake up," she whispered in her ear. Chaeyoung groaned, being woken up was not something she enjoyed not even if it was with kisses.

"Why?"

"I need you."

Chaeyoung moved from Mina's hold, and lazily extender her arms turning to face her, with her eyes still closed. "What is it?" She asked in her new position still sleepy.

"I can't stop thinking about today," Mina said just looking at sleepy Chaeyoung.

"What's with today?"

"Momo's birthday."

"Mhh, didn't you buy a gift already?" Chaeyoung was not perceiving the worried tone in Mina's voice.

"I'm scared," Mina whispered. "Everyone will be there, us." At that Chaeyoung finally opened her eyes to look at her.

"Ah, that," she said as if she had no intention of worrying about that. "Nothing would happen, Mina, you don't need to panic."