Deceptive Glitters ✅

Chapter 26: Birthday Wish

Layla rolled to the other side of the bed, it's been three days since she had a good nights sleep, since she heard about Jawad's possible wedding, since she told them they never had a chance.

It wasn't any better today, she craned her neck to the side of her bedside clock, in bold red numbers it read 11:24pm and she sighed, less than an hour and she would be twenty five, did she feel different? She couldn't tell.

you've achieved nothing in the twenty five years, she squinted her eyes to stop the tears from falling. She wanted to scream, she graduated first Class honors from Harvard University, only because he was there, he's always there, you don't deserve him.

“Stop it, shut up!” she whispered unable to yell like she wanted to, like she needed to.

Waleedah is getting married and you can't keep a man, dada was right, you're bad luck, nothing good will come from you.

She didn't fight the tears this time, she let them fall wetting her pillow, the same pillow Jawad gifted her when she got accepted into Harvard, it has her name embrioded, she could remember what he said after he sent it, he'd called her on video call and after congratulating her said the words that made her laugh, “It'll soak up all your tears that'll fall, it'll be rough, but whenever you feel like crying, cry on this so it reminds you to fight always because I have your back.” he smiled and then added in a low voice “I always will.”

A sob racked through body, she brought her hands up to her mouth to silence it, she didn't want anyone to comfort her, she needed to feel the pain she's caused people over the years, only then will she feel peace, at least she thought.

Dada, their grandmother was right, she has nothing good in her and only brings pain and anguish, she was a selfish despicable person, but not anymore, she's letting Jawad go, she'll be selfless because he deserves happiness and she's nothing but sorrow.

“I'm so sorry, so so sorry.” she said to no one in particular, she didn't know what she was apologizing for, maybe for being alive.

Her hands shook as she reached for her bedside drawer and pulled it open, the small bottle laid there unused, she'd remember how happy she was when the doctor said she didn't need to use it anymore, unless it was absolutely necessary, that is when they come back, but they are back now and like they've always been after she shuts them, more aggressive, angry and loud, very loud it's deafening her.

She picked the bottle of water Abba brought to her after dinner, like the past days, she didn't eat with the family, alhaji Tafida had entered her room and kissed her goodnight, Waleedah tried to convince her to go out but she refused, she was helping all of them by staying away and they should let her.

She took a deep breath first then opened the lid of the sleeping pills, she dropped six on her palms, it was over her dosage but she didn't mind, she needed to sleep because she was slowly losing her mind.

She contemplated popping them in her mouth but stopped, she'd resisted the past three days and she shouldn't give in, a more cynical part of her told her it was the only way to stop the pain, the logical part of her refused to accept that, she let the inner battle distract her but she knew it wouldn't last, a ping made her almost jump out of her skin, she closed the pills in her palms and searched for the phone in the dim light her hands flailing on the bed till she touched the cold solid object.

She brought the phone to her face, The brightness hurt her eyes making her squint in discomfort, her heart beat increased so much that it was thudding against her chest, she tapped the message icon, it was from an unknown number but she had an inkling on who it was and when she saw the two words, the tears came back full force, the world is too good for her.