Train Me

Chapter Seven- I fuck up everything.

~Randy's point of view~

I had gone to Alabama and signed my house and two cars there over to Jennifer. She is set on everything. I paid her lawyer and went with her. I know what she is going to do. I changed the deal a little and added more money. I gave her an additional five million to sign her rights over to her girls. Tryzdin is the one they need to be with. She is a shitty mother. Before I left Alabama, I made sure she had five million in her bank. When the divorce is final, I will deposit the other five million.

I did set Tryzdin up with my lawyer. I paid for it. I owe him more than he will ever know. Dwyer called me after they left his office the first time and asked me if I would have a problem with him asking Xyla out. I didn't tell him that she was with Tryzdin. I just told him she was in a relationship and was happy. He still asks all the time and I tell him every time she is still in a relationship.

I am almost positive that I have ruined any chance that I had with Sydney. The prick is still hanging around. He isn't a bad guy. I just don't like him because he has what I want. I don't think they are sleeping together, though. When he is here, they are always in visible areas. I haven't even seen them kiss.

Tryzdin is back in his home thanks to Xyla. She replaced everything in his home. What she doesn't know is the money she spent I put back in her account. I know she watches the bank but not as much as she should. We all helped him get it all together, and we did the same when Xyla got her house. She wanted the basement and garage redone, so we did that before she moves in. She wanted more bedrooms. I made sure she had it.

I thought for sure she would ask Sydney to move with her, but she didn't. I'm glad she didn't. She may not be mine, but I like that Sydney is in my home. She isn't right now. She has been out with Jones all day; I have been here all day by myself. Xyla is at her home. Sylvia is out with Gary.

I get bored when no one is here. My mind drifts into all the bad shit I have done. I start to realize what a shitty person I really am. I don't even deserve to have my daughter and grandchildren in my life.

I do think since she has been back in my life, I am slowly redeeming myself. I can't be too terrible of a person, or Sylvia and Sydney wouldn't stick around. Xyla is different, though. I have never abandoned Sylvia or Sydney like I did her. The fucked up part is I have always had her sister in my life but not her. Xyla has never brought it up, but I can't help but think about it.

I know that I have to try to be a better man for all three of the women in my life. Sylvia has Gary. I know at some point he will end up living here. She won't leave me, and he loves her. I don't know what is going on with Sydney and Jones. I know she doesn't love him, but I also know she enjoys spending time with him. She doesn't spend a ton of time with him because she and Xyla are stuck up each other's butts.

I don't mind that. They are family; Sylvia and Sydney are her only connection to her mother. I haven't heard from Geneva since the night that the girls saw her at the mall. She lives in this town she always has, but she doesn't do shit on her own. I don't even think she wipes her own ass anymore.

I am so glad I got away from all that. Geneva and Jennifer both. I needed a clean break from it all. I thought when I got that break; it would lead me to Syndey. I have managed to push her away even further. I should have told her what I was feeling the moment she started dating Jones. I didn't, though, and I now have to live with it.

They may be together, but she still doesn't turn me away when I want her, her eyes on me when he isn't here. I know that she wants me. I have known how she has felt for years. I played with that, and now I may never have her.

I will always have her physically. I know that. That isn't fair to her or to Jones. I don't like the kid, but he doesn't deserve to have her cheat on him, but I can't help it. When I want her, I want her. I have been better; it has been a bit since I have taken that chance. Now may actually be the time to stop and let her live her life.