Shiv In The Night [Billie Eilish AU] [✅Completed]

30

Omniscient

“Please stop blaming yourself, baby. This is no way any of your fault.” Billie whispered as she used her hand to rub Selena’s back. 

Selena didn’t utter a single word as she looked down at the gravestone which read June Lexus Romina, 2019-2021, beloved daughter.

“How are you feeling?” Billie asked her in a soft manner, not expecting her to reply, but she did.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay to not know, it’s fine.” Billie replied.

After a while of another delicate silence, Billie heard, “It’s my fault-”

“No, it isn’t.” 

“I should’ve killed him when I had the chance, I should’ve known that damn prison wouldn’t hold him, fuck.”

“No, it’s not your fault, okay? Hey- look at me-” Billie turned Selena to face her.

“You’re gonna be fine, you’re going to grieve as you need to and cope.”

“I don’t want to cope or grieve, Billie.” Selena scoffed. “So what do you want, huh? You have to talk to me, baby.” 

Selena didn’t say anything and just turned away from Billie and prepared to walk out of the cemetery. “Selena?”

“What, Billie?” 

“Where are you going?” Billie followed after her.

“You alreadly know.” Selena whispered under her breath but Billie heard, prompting her to grab her hand.

"No!" Billie shouted. "Let go of me, Billie."

"I'm not about to allow you to go and do something stupid Selena."

"I'm not doing anything stupid, it needs to be done."

"You're gonna get yourself killed, just forget about whatever you're planning to do."

"Don't fucking- you're not going anywhere." Billie pulled Selena towards her again.

"What the hell is your problem?" Selena asked her. "I know you think you're some superhuman, but I'm not letting you go to find him."

"So I'm just supposed to let him get away with murdering my sister first and now my daughter?"

"Of course not! But you're gonna get yourself killed, I can't have that, I won't."

Selena rolled her eyes, sniffling a little and running her fingers through her hair. "I need to do this."

"But you can't." Billie whispered. "You know I have to."

Billie let go of Selena and let out a sigh, "It's whatever." She mumbled.

"Nothing's going to be happen to me or us."

"I know." Billie nodded softly.

Billie wanted to help Selena, but she’d be lying if she said she knew how.

If it wasn’t already known, Selena was the protector in the family. 

She was the one who made sure if everyone was okay and safe, she never made it about her, she actually kept herself out of the picture, but this time around, it was about her, it had to be about her and Selena hated that.

She hated seeming weak or a victim of some sort, there wasn’t only sadness that surrounded June’s death, there was pure anger behind it.

Selena wanted him dead, she wanted to watch him as he begged for his life, she wanted his blood falling from her fingertips by the time she was done with him.

Of course she would accomplish that, everyone knew, but what people were most scared of was the fact that Selena had the capability to shut off her emotions, almost go blank as a person and that never had good results.

Matteo had now killed two family members of Selena, he threatened her entire world, so she could easily accept the fact that the only way to stop him was to dig his grave and throw him in it.

She didn’t want him hurting anyone else she loved, she’d be devastated if something happened to her mother or her cousins, but if it came to Billie, she’d go absolutely insane. 

Billie.

There wasn’t a single word to describe the young woman other than, ‘perfect’. 

Selena had never been in a relationship before, so she had no idea what she was expecting after agreeing to Billie’s girlfriend.

The first few weeks had to be some of the most amazing weeks in both of their lives, traveling across the country and being only in each other’s presence. 

Now it had been five months later and with the loss of June, Billie had no idea how their relationship would be like now. 

But from the way Selena acted the last few days, she could already tell that distance was preparing to squeeze in between them and it hurt her to the core.

‘Maybe it’s what we need.’ Billie told herself a few times but that just scared her even more. She couldn’t say that she understood what Selena was going through.

It wasn’t just a loss of a friend, she lost her daughter and that made the ability to understand what Selena was going through nearly impossible. 

In her situation, there was no grieving process, just grief, no timeline, no right or wrong, no rules, there’s no end to it, it’s just there.

“Selena?” Billie called out to her one more time. “Yeah?” 

“I love you, don’t forget that.” 

Selena grinned softly and nodded, “I know.”