Conflicted

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Louisa's p.o.v

Breathing in and out I make little shapes with ice, but got to thinking... 'how has Hazel been doing?' I got curious on one of my other cousins. Since I'm up on the wooden thing the others aren't really paying attention, and they're not even out here. I quickly make a portal and thought of Hazel- "what tmnt episode to watch today?" Her voice caught my attention. My eyes widen as my tail wraps around my waist tight, but she's sitting on her couch looking confused. Before she could tilt her head I whisper out "you want to watch Invasion of the Squirrelanoids."

Hazel is easy to manipulate, and is sometimes a bit oblivious- "wait! There's always the first episode that random girl that came through a portal." 'Is... she talking about me??' I think as I set my hand on the portal sadly, feeling like we're so far apart now. She easily found the episode on where this journey all began for me... "ah yes, this is a good one. Where she basically starts off somehow a bit close to some of the guys" Hazel says while pushing info. I began to read the description '"while tracking mutagen, the turtles not only bring a mutated squirrel back to the lair, but a new girl."'

A small gasp leaves my mouth before I kept reading '"this new random character helps the turtles when the squirrel starts multiplying. Then the turtles and the character must hunt the squirrel mutants and prevent them escaping into the city."' "I just hate that later on she kind of leads Leo on! I mean, ya either like him or you don't. Then there's Mikey's weird shipping of her and Raph! I mean, come on!! That wouldn't end out well. And after the entire Donnie situation... it seems like she'd just be better off with that weird fire-elemental."

'She... am I just making a wrong decision? Well, on the other point - Raph had been a bit condescending before he started crushing on me. Then there was also what he said to me too "dang it, Weeza - just stay in your place next time."' A low growl starts to leave my mouth as I close the portal and furrow my eyebrows in anger. 'Finally realizing they're against you? That they're holding you back from your true potential??' Powers asks me. I think it over 'actually, kind of, yeah... Master Splinter has lashed out on the girl that crashed into their lives.'

'Not to mention who isn't even supposed to be a part of the storyline' 'yeah, Leo basically hates me for kissing Raph.' 'Jealousy is blinding him from his true friend' 'Donnie isn't even the one for me like I thought he was.' 'Dude was so confusing, first he was there for you, then started to yell at you for something dumb.' 'Poor little Mikey and I drifted apart from our best-friend/sibling relationship' 'and he did nothing to keep in contact with you.' 'I don't even remember the last time I even talked with April or Casey' 'seems like they gave up on you.'

'Baxter hates me for trying my hardest to protect the gang' 'and when you don't try your hardest but still try- the gang question you.' I shake my head and try to calm my thoughts, but stand up and start skating out while feeling someone watching me. Honestly at this point I just want some fresh air to clear my head, so I went to the closest manhole. After a bit I went to a random rooftop and looking out over the city as the lights turn on while the sky gets dark. It didn't sound like the person that was watching me found me here yet, so I sigh as I grab my ponytail.

"As the days get cold and the cards all fold
And the saints we see are all made of gold~-
When your dreams all fail and the ones we hail
Are the worst of all, and the blood's run stale" I softly sang out before I take out my ponytail and the wind somehow fixed it easily. Donnie comes into my mind before I hug myself and my dog ears press against the top of my head instantly.
"I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you-" 'good luck with that!' 'Shut up, Powers!!'
"But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide
No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed-" I look out over the city again and a little image of it being covered in ice comes.
"This is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come" I sang out before finally hearing a soft thud land behind me. Turning around I see Donnie as he's looking at me concerned and worried, so I walk towards him slowly.
"When you feel freezing, look into my eyes" I sang while pointing at my eyes, so he does while his eyes widened.
"It's where my demon hides, it's where my demon hides" I hug myself as I turn to the side, but Donnie reached out to me. I skate back quickly though-
"Don't get too close; it's dark inside
It's where my demon hides, it's where my demon hides!!" I sang out while holding my head, so Donnie looks me up and down.

"Louisa, what do you mean??" "I mean that... ugh, it's hard to explain - can you just leave me alone to think?" "Is this about Baxter?" Donnie asks. 'I don't want to tell him...' 'then lie!' Powers advice seems like the only way to go. Looking down to the side I answer with "y-yeah..." "fine, I'll leave you alone, but I'm telling Baxter. He has to apologize, this looks like it's messing with your head!" Donnie says before jumping down. I growl while grabbing the sides of my head again before pacing back and forth.

After a bit of pacing I think 'did I really just take your advice?!' 'Yeah, and it got him away-' 'but it'll get Baxter here. When he doesn't want to apologize and Donnie's probably threatening him to!' I think upset. 'Don't worry, you can be smart... when ya wanna be-' 'oh, just shut it will you?! I have enough to deal with.' 'Yeah, because your so called family has drifted apart from you!' 'Ya think?!' I think hysterically again. I grab the sides of my head while I felt like I was close to fainting and staying awake as I stand here.

Tbc

Okay that's it, but not forever~ Now I hope I can come out of my shell to write you another chapter soon!

~Turtles4Ever

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