Not a Homosexual (Homestuck fanfic: DaveKat)

Being Bored can Kill You

Karkat's POV

Okay...FUCK THIS!!! It has been 2 FUCKING weeks since I have been on Earth. Why am I here you ask? Well... It's because of this asshole named SOLLUX FUCKING CAPTOR!!!

~Flashback~

My name is Karkat Vantas and I have been in my hive since FOREVER. Life is just really boring here... My lusus is being VERY FUCKING CRABBY TODAY. Fuck this shit. I also have a fucking headache! I hate everyone. Well...except for-

*DING*

Shit. That is the sound of hell's bells. My headache hurts a lot now. Just so you know, that stupid ding was from my husktop. Someone is contacting me from Trollian. Well...I AM NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD.

*DING*
No
*DING*
No
*DING*
FINE!!!! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!

I got up from my recuperacoon and went to my husktop to answer the fucking troll who made my headache worse.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: KK.
TA: KK, ii know you are there.
TA: ju2t an2wer me. ii need your help.
TA: ii wonder what would TZ thiink iif 2he 2aw how you reacted two troll tiitaniic?
CG: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT? I HAVE A HEADACHE.
TA: ii need your help.
CG: HELP? FOR WHAT? I HAVE A HEADACHE!!!
TA: ju2t go to my hiive.
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Well...FUCK YOU CAPTOR. Why does he needs help? I guess the only answer to that question was to go to his hive.

I closed the lid of my husktop and paused. Wait... Why did I pause? *JDOABCOWPXNALSOW* And what the fuck was that noise? Oh my gog.... That fucking lusus has been crabby the whole day. I guess I have to fight him...GOG!

ONE FIGHT LATER

Finally.. That was tiring... Shit. I gotta get to Sollux's. I quickly ran to my door and ran to his hive. As I reached his front door, I knocked on it really loud because I am FUCKING PISSED OFF.
"Come in!" That's Captor. I opened the door and went inside. "Alright Sollux, what do you need?" I said with an annoyed tone. I did that to remind him about my FUCKING HEADACHE. "KK, I jutht need you to help me with my project." Says the lisp king. "What project?" "Well, FF thaid she wanted to thee the humanth. She wanted to communicate with them phythically, not online." Sollux kept on talking about shit I don't even care about. Of course, since Feferi is the "kind shit" and all that. Sollux wanted to do something for her, because she listened to him and all that shit. Stop spacing out Karkat. Listen to the fucking troll. "Tho I built a teleporter to, of courthe, teleport ourthelveth to the humanth. I need your help to tetht it."
He finished with a smirk. Fuck, that's creepy.
"Okay, but why me? Can't you just ask another troll? I'm sick and tired! I wanted to slee-" "No, you are bored and wathted. I thought that thith might help you not be bored." Says the Gemini. How the hell did he know I was waste- bored. How did he know I was bored? Well...if it can cure my boredom. If it doesn't...I'm the one who'll be crabby.

"Alright Captor. I'll try the fucking teleporter." I said with a sigh. This still isn't a good idea. But whatever, I'm bored. "Great! Thtep here!" Sollux pointed to a circle on the floor. I stood on the circle and glared at him. He then gave me a small cube with a red button on it. "What the hell is this?" I said. He then said "It'th gonna help me track you down in earth. Jutht in cathe you get lotht. Altho, when you prethth the button, you will magically be teleported back here!" He explained. Sollux then reached a remote and looked at me. "You ready KK?" He said with a smirk. "Just hurry up, fuckass. I can't stand the boredom." I said. He pressed the button on the remote and the everything turned black.