Not a Homosexual (Homestuck fanfic: DaveKat)

Fanfictions

Dave's POV

So...it's a Saturday today. Glad there's no school today, why? CAUSE IT'S A SATURDAY. I'm just chilling on my bed like a boss, recalling everything that happened this week.

The Ironic Week:
Monday: I brought Karkat to school.

Tuesday: did the History test. Karkat and I had a very very special moment.

Wednesday: Karkat tripped in gym class.

Thursday: Karkat got so mad at me because I ate his chocolate, he threw his Math book at me, I dodged it, and he accidentally hit someone else.

Friday: Fangirls chased me around the whole school. Karkat had no choice but to run after me.

Saturday: I'm recalling everything that happened this week.

Sunday: I'm no fortune teller.

I stood up from my bed and went out of my room. I walked past Bro's door and heard him scream "one thousand views!!!". Okay, I'm getting really curious here. I knocked on his door and waited for him to open it. When Bro opened the door, he ran to the front door and faced me "I'm going somewhere, don't go into my room, don't mess with lil cal, and don't touch my computer." And then he ran away.

I looked at the door that got slammed close, slowly turning my head to Bro's door. I just want to know what kind of story he made on his shitty fanfic. I reached out my hand to the door knob until..

"What the fuck are you doing, Strider?" Karkat said, walking out of the bathroom. I looked at him with no emotion and face palmed myself. Then I suddenly laughed really loud. "Why the hell are you laughing at me?!?" Karkat screamed. He walked up to me and held my collar.

"It's just because you are so short!"

"What's with you and my height?!? If you ask me, my height is-"

"Is what? Really short? Really really short? Shorty shortie short short?"

Karkat let go of my collar and banged his head on Bro's door. When he did, the door swung open and Karkat fell into Bro's room. Karkat screamed a loud 'OW!' And quickly stood up. I entered Bro's room and looked around. Shit, this place is full of smuppets. I kicked some of them around and turned to Karkat. He just looked amazed and disgusted at the same time.

"Is this place like Puppet Hell?" He said pointing to all the smuppets. I nodded to him and went to Bro's computer. I think that's where he writes his stories. I was about to sit on a chair, but I saw the most horrifying, disturbing creature in the whole world...no, it's not John eating cake...it's...it's...

"STRIDER!!! IT'S THE PUPPET DEVIL!!!"

"AHHH!!!"

"FUUUUUUCK!!!"

"RUUUUN!!!"

"SWEEEEET BEBE JEGUS!!!!"

Karkat and I screamed at the top of our lungs. Lil Cal was sitting on top of Bro's computer. I ran to Karkat and we stood next to each other. We looked at lil Cal and he was just staring at us. Those horrible eyes, staring into my soul. Karkat held my sleeve tightly and we walked backwards together to the door. When we reached the door, I twisted the door knob and I realized that we were locked inside.

"Karkat..." I whispered.

"What?" He silently screamed.

"The door's locked. I can't open it. The Puppet Devil locked us in." I said leaning on the door. I felt Karkat's tightening his grip on my sleeve. "We are so dead."

Karkat and I looked at each other and gave each other the face that says 'Fuck'.

When we looked at Cal, he was gone. "Shit! How the fuck is he teleporting?!?" Karkat screamed, letting go if his grip. I walked around the room and saw little blue eyes. I jumped back, did a flip and landed on Bro's bed. Fuck, I'm just that awesome. I looked at Karkat who had Cal on his head. "Aaah! Fuck!! Strider!!! Do something!!!!" He screamed, running around the room.

I got one of Bro's shitty swords and dashed to Karkat. I held Karkat's head and pushed it down. I grabbed Cal and threw him to the wall and stabbed his chest. I sighed happily and left Cal hanging on the wall with a katana on his chest. I looked at Karkat who also sighed. "Haha! Good one, Strider" I heard him say.

"Woah? Is that you Karkat? You just praised me." I said leaning on the wall, fixing my hair.

"Yeah...it's me, fuckass... I want to tell you something.." He said walking closer to me.

Karkat's POV

Okay...okay...I think now's the time to express my true feelings to him. How I felt when I hugged him, how I felt when I was on top of him, how I felt when he saved me from the Puppet Devil and how I felt when I bit his nose. I told you... I think I'm a hamasexual...or is it homosexual? Shit..I don't know...

I walked up to Strider and reached for his hand. He flinched a little and I could see a slight blush on his cheeks. I held his hand and looked at him.

I held his other hand and went closer to his face. "I want...to tell you...how I feel....about...y-"

"Him?" I heard a familiar voice say. I let go of Strider's hand and turned around. The puppet is not on the wall anymore and the shitty sword is in pieces. I felt Strider's hand on my shoulder, pulling me closer. We looked to our left and saw...

"Gamzee?"

"Hey Karbro."

"How the fuck did you get here??" I said walking to him, I was pulled back by Strider's hand. I looked at him curiously and saw his red eyes. His shades were on his collar and his eyes were glaring at Gamzee. It kinda terrified me.

"Stri-"

"Why are you in my house? What do you want?" Strider cut me off.

"I just want my motherfucking bro. I'm going to bring him back with me. Now, be a kind motherfucker and let him go here, with me." Gamzee said. I saw him get the Puppet Devil from his back and hugged it.

I couldn't say anything. I just stared at both of them. I looked at Strider and heard him say "Something tells me that you aren't going to be a nice motherfucker. No way I'm giving him back to you, we were having a moment here. You kinda interrupted us, dude. Now...go to your Faygo Fantasy, I wanna continue this." Strider pulled me closer and he neared his face to mine. "You were saying Karka-" Strider was cut off by the Puppet Devil being thrown to his face. He fell back to the wall and glared at Gamzee. That throw was fucking hard!!

I looked at Gamzee and he walked to Strider, he's sober. Oh my gog! "Gamzee! Don't hurt him!" I screamed, getting into his way. Gamzee carried me and threw me on Strider's lusus' 'bed'. I sat up and saw Strider being held by Gamzee.

"Yours?!?! YOURS?!?!!?! NO HE IS MOTHERFUCKING NOT!!! DON'T YOU GET IT?!?! HE'S MINE!!!!!!!!" Gamzee screamed.

"Gamzee stop it! Don't worry! You'll always be my moirail!" I said while standing up and running to him. He just turned to me and smiled like a fucking creep. "No...I don't want to be your pale bro...I WANT TO BE YOUR RED BRO!"

"The fuck? Like Mario?" Strider said. Gamzee turned to the shattered sword and got a small blade from it, he then turned to Strider. I grabbed Gamzee's shoulder and tried to pull him back. "Gamzee!!! Please!!! Don't!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"Oh my fucking god! I just wanted to read Bro's shitty fanfic!!!" Strider said, putting his hand on his face.

Gamzee and I stopped moving and stared at Strider with faces that say 'What the fuck?'. We just stared at him awkwardly until he groaned loudly.

"Is this what I get for entering my own brother's room?"