Not a Homosexual (Homestuck fanfic: DaveKat)

Ding

Dave's POV

"..uh.." I said. I mean, what else should I say? 'Oh geez sure! I'll kiss my own brother for a psycho! Gee willegers! No problem!'. No. Not cool.

"Hm? What's wrong? I'm waiting." Miranda said. I looked at Bro who had a poker face on, but I can see that he's freaking out in the inside.

Bro pecked me on the cheek, like what a father would do for his son, and looked at Miranda. "Ok, that's done." He said. Miranda shook her head and said "On the lips"

I shook my head and removed Bro's arm which was on around my shoulders. "I need to go pee" I said, stepping back a little. "Kiss him first. Then you'll pee."

"No way, lady. You can't tell me when to or not to pee."

I ran away and left Bro with the psycho. "Dave! Wait for me! I need to pee too!!"

I ran into the men's restroom and sighed. "You fucking left me!" I heard a voice behind me, I turned around and saw Bro.

I glared at Bro and punched his shoulder. "What the hell, Bro?! The plan doesn't include you kissing me!!" I yelled. "I didn't know that I was supposed to kiss you! To be honest, I didn't even know that we could get this far.."

"What?" I said, regaining my coolness.

"I just thought that when we see her, she would run after me and we could just run away and strife outside Wal-mart..." Bro replied.

"Well, you thought wrong." A female voice said from the door. Bro and I turned our heads to the door and saw Miranda. "Plan, huh? I have one of my own!" She smiled devilishly.

Miranda walked up to us, holding one of her shoe?

I don't remember that much about what happened next, all I remembered was seeing darkness and hearing Bro curse like Karkat.

Karkat...

Karkat's POV

"Where the fuck is he?!?!" I yelled as I walked back and forth in the living room.

"Relax Karkitty-"

"I CANNOT RELAX!" I turned my head to Nepeta and Sollux, who were siting on the couch as I was right in front of them. "MY HUMAN MATESPRIT HAS BEEN GONE FOR AN HOUR! I CANNOT RELAX!!"

Sollux shrugged and said "Sure you can. Jutht breathe in," he breathes in " and breathe out." Then he exhales. "It'th pretty thimple if you would thtop freaking out."

"Besides, Dave said he would come back later." Nepeta said. I heard Sollux snicker, "And he called you babe." He smirked.

"THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR TEASING!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Nepeta frowned sadly, crap, glad Equius isn't here. "Sorry, I'm just...worried." I sighed. Nepeta smiled, "It's ok Karkitty, I understand!"

I sat down in between them on the couch and leaned back. "To be honest..I feel empty without him.." I confessed. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked at Nepeta, she was trying to comfort me. "I know the feeling." I looked at my right and stared at Sollux. "Thinthe I left ED back at our planet, I felt thad. I felt like I wath mithing a piethe. But remember, thith ith for both of uth, they will alwayth be ourth, and we'll alwayth be theirth."

There was silence between the three of us. It was silent for about 15 seconds until I spoke up.

"You are not Sollux Captor, who the hell are you."

"Gog dammit KK! I'm trying to be dramatic!"

I chuckled a bit. "Of course I fucking knew that! Anyway, thanks Sollux. That made me feel better." Sollux smirked and replied "No problem."

Nepeta squealed and jumped onto her feet, "Let's wait for Dave! When he comes back, you guys can have your alone time."

"Nepeta!!!" I yelled as I blushed

Sollux stood up and faced me "Dave ith definitely on top."

"CAPTOR!!" Blushing..

I stood up and flipped my middle finger at the both of them while standing up and covering my face with my other hand. "I SWEAR I'M-"

"Ding!"

....

"What?" I asked. What the hell was that? It sounded like a bell. I looked at Sollux and he shook his head. "Don't look at me! I don't know what the fuck ith going on!"

"Ding!"

I turned my head to look at Nepeta who pointed to the hallway. "I think it's coming from there!"

We all went to the hallway and heard another 'ding'. It was coming from Strider's room.

"Hm..should we go in Karkitty?" Nepeta asked. "Ithn't that invading hith privathy?" Sollux said.

I shrugged and open the door. "I've been here before. So I think it's-"

"Ding!"

Gog damn bell better stop cutting me off.

We all turned our heads to the direction of the 'ding' and saw that it was coming from Strider's nightstand.

On the nightstand was a device humans use to call or message each other. I've seen Strider use this. I think it's a..a..I don't remember the name of the device. But it's where the 'dings' were coming from.

"Ding!"

I grabbed the device and looked at it. Since I didn't know how to open it, I gave it to Sollux. He examined it carefully and, like magic, he opened it and gave it back to me.

On the screen of the device were messages. And they all came from one person, "Brother Dick". I guess this is Strider's lusus. Wait...why is he sending messages to Strider when he's with him?!?

I tapped on the message and it brought me to all the messages the lusus sent.

"Hrelp"

"Doewn yythe srtreet"

"Purple hoiuswe"

"Kiddnapedd"

Another message appeared on the shaking device, since my hands were trembling.

"-Dave anmd Brohskqjwpakdhsjqksk"