Deeply Devoted - A JeanxMarco AU

Stranger

Marco's POV:

The reality of it all didn't actually hit until the next day when I woke up to an empty bed next to me.  

I swallowed hard, looking at the pillow where Jean usually was on Sunday mornings.  It was difficult to sleep, but I managed to do it after a few hours of constantly shifting in my spot.  

Yesterday after Jean left, I did all the dirty work while my emotions were still pushed to away.  I deleted our posts off of social media, changed my phone background to a photo of Kay, changed his contact in my phone, and texted Bertholdt about it.

Today, I planned on packing his things away in a box and leaving it at his apartment door, or maybe arrange something so we can exchange things.  But I just know Emily will be with him and I don't want to face her yet.  I don't want to see Jean yet either.  

I sat up on my bed, grabbing my phone off the charger.  

I should call my mom...  It's been a while and I don't know how she's doing.

I unlocked my phone, chest pinging with pain when I didn't see my normal lock screen of Jean and I.  Bertholdt had messaged me, so I quickly responded, not wanting to be rude.

Bert:

B: 'Hey, good morning.  How are you feeling?  Everything okay?'

M: 'Sorry, I just woke up... I'm okay so far, but I want to rid his things of my apartment.  That might be hard...'

I took in a deep, shaky breath before exhaling it slowly.  My hand fell to my side, petting the white cat that was next to me in Jean's place.  Quickly, I dialed up my moms number and pulled it to my ear, hearing the monotonous tones fill my eardrum.

I wasn't expecting her to answer, especially since we are in different time zones.  I moved away to college and have barely spoken to her.  The last time I did was when she came up to see me graduate last semester.

A sigh escaped my lips when her voicemail came up, knowing I have to word this message carefully or she'll get upset that I didn't go visit her and tell her these things.  

"Hey mom," I started after the beep, "It's Marco... I'm really sorry I haven't been calling you, it's been rough.  Life is rough," I laughed nervously.  "I want to see you, mom.  I want to hear your voice and talk with you.  I hope you are doing well, I know you probably weren't expecting a call from your son.  Nonetheless, I love you and miss you.  I hope we can talk soon.  Call me back.  Bye..."  I hung up the phone, letting a deep sigh from my throat.  

My phone vibrated in my hands, seeing a message pop up from the groupchat I was in with Jean and our friends.  

The Baddies😗🤝:

J: 'The wedding is back on with Emily.'

With that message, I left the group chat, leaving Jean and my friends behind.  

Then, everything hit at once.  Every emotion I pushed back yesterday has surfaced and it's not letting me out easy.  

My hands came up to my face as I let go of my phone, laying back on the bed.  My eyes squeezed shut, my lips quivering as the tears started to burn my dry eyes.  The pain in my chest becoming immense and unbearable, knowing I had lost someone special.  Knowing I had lost someone I loved.  

I leaned over on my side, pulling the pillow over my face as I wept into it, moans of loss leaving my vocal chords.  "Why?"  I spoke into the pillow after I took in a deep breath between sobs.