Deeply Devoted - A JeanxMarco AU

Love

Jean's POV:

"Come on please, answer me..." I held my phone up to my ear for the third time, calling him again. This time it went straight to voicemail, knowing he declined the call.

"Fuck!" I yelled, throwing my phone across the room before slamming my hand down on the counter I was leaning over.

I held his letter in my hand, standing around my apartment in the kitchen.

I walked over to grab my phone that made it's way into the living room, seeing as it landed safely on the couch despite my force. I dialed his number again, pulling the phone up to my ear and deciding to leave a message this time.

It went to voicemail once again, a loud sigh escaping my lips as I waited for the beep.

"Hey Marco," I sighed again, being so tired of it all, "I don't know what to say or how to say it, but I'm so fucking sorry for bringing you into this. For doing this to you. After the past few weeks, I've noticed how much I ache for you. How unhappy I am with out you. How much I love you. How I can't go a day with out thinking about you. Please, Marco, I don't expect you to forgive me, but please call me back."

I hung up the phone again and placed it on the counter, running a hand through my hair. It's been about two days since the whole thing with Emily happened, I wanted to calm down before I tried to contact Marco.

But now that I'm trying to contact him, I feel as though I can't stop. It's like I need to talk to him, to hear his voice, see his face... Like it's been too long without him. Like an addiction to him.

I wanted this all to be a stupid nightmare, hoping that I would wake up and be in Marco's arms once again.

It felt like hours since I looked at my phone, but it's only been a minute.

"Please," I laughed at the situation, almost feeling desperate. "Please answer me..."

I dialed up his number once again like those crazed ex-boyfriends trying to contact their old lover.

Maybe because I am one.

My heart stopped in my chest the moment I stopped hearing the ringing, expecting a voicemail but it never came.

"Marco?" I asked hesitantly into the empty call, a hint of him being there.

"Jean," he replied and it felt like my heart started beating again, now beginning to race.

"You answered," I didn't know what to say or how to say it, but hearing his voice brought me home.

"Yeah," I heard him take a deep breath, "I answered."

"Look," I started but was cut off by the love of my life denying me access.

"Don't, Jean. You're just going to say how sorry you are and how you regret it, wishing you didn't do it," his voice revealed pain, pain that I caused. "I know the drill. I don't hate you, but I don't want to be with you. I can't secure the idea of you not leaving again."

"Marco," I felt tears sting my eyes at his words, especially when he said he doesn't want to be with me. "Listen, I don't want Emily. I want you. These past few weeks have been absolute hell and it's not for the fact that Emily made it hell, it's that being without you physically pained me."

"Jean, please don't make this harder than it already is..."

"I love you, Marco," I was bawling at this point, a pain in my chest I couldn't quite describe. A pain I've never felt before until now. "Please don't do this. Please don't say goodbye..."