Man of the Match | DaiSuga

Chapter 37

CW / TW : Broken bones / injury - form of self harm

Daichi POV :

Asahi had gone outside on a phone call around midnight, he excused himself outside to go and sit on the doorstop, I expected him to return shortly however, it had been three hours now. Nishinoya had made about five tea trips to his partner making sure he was warm enough, had blankets, was enjoying a brew. I would watch each time he would trot to the door, I would stare down the corridor, see Asahi smile at him, accept the cup of tea and give Noya a kiss. It was cute at first but after the third trip it was just beginning to annoy me.

I wished I could fall asleep, after the last tea run, Noya had drifted off to sleep on the sofa. I hated how easily he had slept, it was as if the second he had laid down he had drifted off. It felt like a weird form of mockery, of course it wasn't but my emotions had a strong hold on me at the moment. My head was throbbing from hitting it against the table earlier in the evening, my eyes were watering at the thought of Suga hating me. And then there was Noya, sleeping peacefully on the couch as if all his stars had aligned. Peaceful without a care in the world. It was annoying me. I wish he would have a nightmare, just anything to wipe the sense of peace from his face. I was getting angry just looking at him, hearing the odd laugh ring through the front door. Why was everyone having a better evening than me?

I groaned taking myself to the bathroom before I get angrier, I gently closed the door and locked it before wiping my hand along the countertop, sending soap, body washes, toothbrushes, anything that was on there clattering to the floor. The sound wasn't overly loud and thankfully my family were heavy sleepers. I looked at the mess on the floor - the disorder allowed me to find some comfort, seeing chaos rather than just feeling chaotic was soothing. No Daichi this is not a good thought process to go down. You gotta nip this in the bud now. Stop it. My logic brain was trying to stop me before things got worse, I knew from previous experiences, the many trips to the ER for broken or sprained wrists after punching things in rage. I tried to focus on my breathing but my mind was flooded with Suga, with Asahi and Nishinoya.

I let out a shaky breath, I was such a problem kid with too many emotions and nowhere to channel them other than my fist being thrown into a brick wall. Either that or picking fights with anyone that would throw a punch, I didn't want to hurt people I just needed to channel my feelings somewhere - anywhere. I sat on my bathroom floor beginning to feel desperate, I was pent up and angry. I was hurting and I my pride won't let me get help. Instead it just drives me to self destruct. I know this and I still can't fix it. I groaned before walking out the bathroom. I know what will fix this, but I really can't be bothered with the hospital trip. 

I moaned walking outside into the cold, maybe the cold will help. Feeling the bitter evening nipping at my skin. My pyjamas weren't the warmest as I stood out in the freezing morning air, the joggers and thin t-shirt provided little protection from the weather. I sighed and went to the corner of the garden gently kicking my foot into the wall. As I tapped my foot against the wall I did my best to weight up the pro's and con's. 

Is it really worth punching the garden wall? Probably not, it may end in an ER trip, imagine no volleyball while it heals. But I'm hurting, and it may not be that bad, after all the breaks I have had I imagine my bone is pretty resilient. I doubt it, probably the opposite from all the breaks you've had. 

I felt rage just burning, boiling, bubbling. I couldn't keep it pushed down enough. I was angry at myself, angry at the world, angry at Asahi, angry at Nishinoya. I looked through the patio doors into the lounge and I could still see Noya, sleeping peacefully. The image didn't help my fleeting control, only causing my rage to spiral angrier, ready to erupt. I sighed pushing my hair off of my face. Don't do it Daichi. 

Despite it all I wasn't sure I could talk myself down, I could feel it burning, lightin gup like a pyre. Suga flashed though my mind and it was the final straw. I felt myself snap. Without thinking, my logic shut off I sent my fist flying into the concrete wall. Instead of just a sting in my knuckles as I expected I heard a loud crack and then a sharp pain shot through my arm stemming from my wrist. I yelled out from the shock of it. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Despite my yell everything still seemed silent in the house. I daren't look down at my wrist, it was shooting pain up my arm. Don't you dare look at it, just get back inside. I walked slowly to the patio door, my arm taking all my energy. I was biting my lip to fight back any yelps and whines. I walked into the lounge, Noya was still asleep, all the upstairs lights were turned off. I almost let out a sigh of relief but life wasn't that kind today.

Eijiro was stood in the corridor, looking at me. He looked up at my face and then his eyes tracked down to my arm before he let out a scream. Shit that bad. I rushed over to him, trying to shush him, trying to calm him. But his scream was high-pitched and terrified waking up the sleeping Noya behind me and alerting everyone in the house. The front door burst open as Asahi ran in, holding his phone still no call, my parents appeared at the bottom of the stairs, the twins stood at the top of the staircase. All eyes were centred on me and Eijiro. 

"Daichi, what happened?" Eijiro was crying, tears streaming down his face. I was knelt in-front of him trying to calm him, pulling him into my chest with my left arm so that he couldn't see my right wrist anymore. Mum made her way over, full of concern and then her face flashed with worry as she noticed my arm. 

She gasped, horrified at what she saw. Is it that bad? It hurts like hell but... I decided to look down myself, the skin was all still intact but something was definitely off. My forearm appeared to be bent in an 'S' shape, my hand springing off in almost the completely wrong direction. Looking at it made the pain feel worse, shooting up from the injury and burning through my arm. 

"Get the car." My mum called to my Dad who began to follow orders like a well trained worker bee. "Daichi you haven't done this since you were thirteen, what are you doing?" She huffed, pulling Eijiro from my grip before carrying him to the foot of the stairs, directing him towards his sisters. 

"I'm sorry." I muttered out, "I couldn't control it." 

Asahi had ended up rushing over, he was helping me to my feet, pulling me upwards by my left arm, the movements causing my arm to scream at me. So I guess it is a trip to the ER after all. I just wanted to silence my mind, I don't see how it is a crime - I guess the aftermath isn't worth what I had done to myself. I groaned as I was ferried into the car and in the silence I could hear someone on the other end of Asahi's phone.

"Asahi is everyone ok? What's happening? Why has it gone quiet? Can you talk to me?" It was only for a moment but it sounded like... Suga?