Man of the Match | DaiSuga

Chapter 42

Daichi POV : 

"Can I say something?" Suga had breathed out quietly, if I wasn't so in awe of him, if I hadn't been trying to absorb every cm of his features I may have missed it with how quiet it was. It didn't feel like he was going to say anything negative, so why was my heart beginning to panic. I felt myself trying to put my shields back up in the split seconds before he spoke again. "I want to tell you something." A second statement, I don't know what he wants, I wish I could read his mind so I could mentally prepare myself for this. 

What if he says it was a mistake? That he doesn't like me like that? That is just bros being bros... no homo. I don't want that! I want all the homo, I want the dates and the cuddles and the kisses, I want to give him a luck charm before each and every game not as a friend but a partner - a boyfriend.

He started speaking again, I went back to searching his eyes, looking for anything that would give away his emotions, remove this vantage he had over me. I was laid beneath him, the safest place in the world yet I was beginning to feel like an animal in a cage, waiting for the predator to deal the killing blow. 

"I don't want us to be friends anymore." 

Ouch. How am I supposed to respond to that? It hurt, it felt like him finally twisting the knife he had previously inserted into my chest. It was the killing blow, the final sentence that would sever our bond. 

I felt myself beginning to struggle, breathing was becoming hard and Suga hovering over me felt more and more like a prison. I looked up at him as he closed his eyes, preparing to say something else, he couldn't meet my gaze. "Suga... I..." He shook his head, causing me to stop speaking. Whatever else he had to say looked like it was important, and with him trapping me I had no option but to lay here and listen. Please spare my feelings, please. If you tear me down too much I don't think I can recover. How would I be able to face you ever again? Please... keep my pride intact just a little bit Koshi. 

"I want us to be more than that. I don't want to be pining after you anymore Sawamura! I want you to be mine." He opened his eyes to look at me again, "I want you to be mine. No more playful flirting as mates teetering on the line of something more. I want us to be something more!" I looked up at his desperate confession in awe. I felt my breath hitch for a completely different reason this time, "Dai? You're not having a panic attack are you?" He panicked sitting up off of me and dragging me into a sitting up position. I just stared at him, words escaping me as I looked at him truly star-struck. 

Koshi Sugawara is confessing to me, how long? How long could I have had him as mine? How long has he known he liked me - wait how long have I liked him? This was what I wanted why am I unable to move? I love you Koshi... I want you to be mine, I want to be with you. 

"Will you go on a date with me?" I blurted out, turning quickly to look at him, my sudden request taking him by shock. I guess my silence had started getting to him. I pulled him into my chest with my left arm, I just held him there tightly relief washing over me like a tidal wave. It felt like taking a breadth of fresh air as I breathed in his scent of fresh vanilla and wild daisies. 

He pulled his head away from my chest to look back at me. "Huh?" He looked close to tears. I wasn't sure what I had said wrong, maybe it did come off a little aggressive. I let him clamber out of my grip as he sat back just looking over at me. I bet I looked like a wreck, nearing tears from the previous panic but grinning like a fool from the new information I held. 

"I want you to be mine too..." I mumbled, looking down at my cast trying to calm myself from the two conflicting emotions. Fear mixing with ecstasy creating a weird buzz in my ears as I found myself blushing. It was easy to stare at my cast as it was the perfect distraction to avoid his gaze. 

Come on Suga you just confessed don't leave me hanging like a fool. Don't act like my confession has fallen on your deaf ears - please say something, anything. At least give me one of your signature smiles, the kind of smile that can light up a room. Give me your smile, please.

I carefully lifted my eyes back up to meet his and saw him sat there with a cheeky smirk on his face as he leaned closer to my face, "Didn't we already kind of have a date... you took me to Tokyo, it felt like it was more than an apology gift." His voice was low and deep more like a whisper, his humour was back. It calmed me knowing he was back to himself.

"Well... erm... a proper date." I said straightening myself up, flexing my shoulders out after being hunched over, I awkwardly brushed my hand to the back of my neck. "Do you want to stay the night? I may need someone to take care of me, I have a pretty bad arm ya know..." I tried to make an excuse so he could stay. I just wanted his cuddles, I just wanted to finally hold him close. 

"You brought that on yourself so no pity from me, but if you want me to stay, I'll stay." He smiled at me, a signature Suga smile, "I'll stay for you."