Chapter 36: Can't Afford

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        "Holy crap, my head hurts," I muttered loudly while Zack opened the door to his apartment. His eyes followed me while I rubbed my temple, walking past him as he held it open. I was greeted by the warm air of his apartment. Now, I know he had central air conditioning in his place, and why he didn't use it was beyond me.

        "You don't look so good Ace," Zack murmured softly, hand catching mine. I stopped while his fingers brushed against the top of my forehead. For a guy that was so warm, his hands felt freezing today. "Your head is warm."

        "The air conditioner was busted at work, and I'm just really fucking hot right now," I admitted backing away from his touch, not because I was mad, but because his body heat was too much.

        "Have you eaten or drank anything today?" He asked, looking over my face again. "You look pale."

        "I didn't have enough time. I went to work right after class, and I can't eat on shift," I said, meeting his gaze. Every time my pulse pumped, I saw it in my eyes, shaking my vision. It was making me dizzy.

        "You need to lie down," he said, letting out a breath. "I think you're getting sick from the heat." I nodded, not finding the words to agree with him. "Let's go," he said sternly, hands finding the sides of my waist from behind, guiding me to the couch that I've fallen in love with. He let his fingers fall from my hips while I sunk into the couch, trying my hardest not to touch anything. It was so warm in here.

        Zack reached over the top of my head, pulling the thick, dark curtains of the window shut. The lack of light relived some of the pain in my head almost instantly; I let out a sigh of relief against the pillow. I felt Zack's fingers brush against the sides of my temples once again.

        "I need you to stay awayke, alright Laur?" Zack said before the sounds of his feet disappeared into another room. I barely nodded, trying my hardest to listen to what he was saying. My head was pounding so hard that I coul dbarely make out a thought.

        He returned frequently, setting things on the table. I didn't dare open my eyes in fear that the pain in my skull might worsen by adding vision to the mix. I began to feel a light breeze against my face a moment after he came back. It felt good against my hot skin, but it wasn't enough to stop the thumping behind my eyelids.

        It felt like years befre Zack's weight pressed to the edge of the couch near my torso, pushing my bangs from my face. "Sit up, just for a minute," he said softly, fingers folding to the back of my beck. I nodded, struggling to pull myself up off the couch. Since when did my head feel like it weighed a hundred pounds?

        I blinked a few times, seeing the Advil and water that he placed in front of me, along with an ice pack and a fan standing at the end of the couch, turning slowly. I couldn't find my voice to ask questions yet, too parched to even think about speaking.

        I put out my hand while he dropped two tables in my palm. I let them fall into my mouth before waiting for the bottled water to be placed in my hand next. I could usually dry swallow pills, but not with my throat this dry. I opened the cap, feeling the cold liquid satisfy my dry mouth. I hadn't realized I almost drank the entire thing before Zack pulled at my hand with a small smile.

        "You'll get sick if you chug it Ace," he said quietly, before indicating for me to lay back down with his eyes averting from my face to the pillow below me. I lowered myself slowly, and as my head adjusted to the cushion below me, Zack placed a cool washcloth on my forehead. I sighed loudly in relief, which caused a throaty chuckle from my savior at my slight dramatics.

        "I'll go make you something to eat so you don't die," he teased softly, before letting me drift in and out of consciousness.

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        I woke up to the smell of deli meat and bread. I took a deep breath in, lifting the now dry towel from my eyes. Zack was seated at my knees, holding my legs over his lap. He glanced at me while flipping through the channels. "I didn't think you'd wake up any time soon," he smiled with a slight laugh.

        "I feel like I was in a coma," I mumbled, stretching in my seat. The pain in my head subsided, leaving it sore and tired. "How long was I asleep for?"

        "A few hours," he shrugged, glancing at the clock below the television. "Stella called to go out to some night club, but I figured you weren't up for it."

        "You could have gone," I said, pulling my legs back. He lifted his arms for a moment while I sat up straight, sure to move slowly. I didn't want my head to spin.

        "I don't need to," He shrugged at the thought, turning the television down. "How's your head?"

        "It's alright," I said quietly picking up the sandwich he'd made for me. It was simple and my stomach growled loudly. I picked at it with my fingers, breaking off small pieces and chewing them carefully. I didn't want to feel sick again, I hated throwing up. "Thank you for taking care of me. You didn't have to."

        "Anytime bud," he said while I sunk into my seat, leaning the bottom of my feet against the coffee table. I fixed my left arm around his, linking them together while placing my head on his shoudler. He didn't mind, only grinning.

        "This is good," I nodded toards the meal he'd prepared for me, eating one of the chips he put on the side. I licked the top of my thumb, licking off the salt, "really good."

        He didn't speak for a long moment. "You can't not eat for an entire day Lauren, you can really hurt yourself," he said looking down at me. I glanced up, shrugging.

        "It's not the first time it's happened. My lack of sleep catches up with me sometimes and I just crash, mostly in the summer," I said, remembering two times in particular when I was driving home from work and I felt like I had a bullet shot through my brain. I tried to forget about that.

        "That's not something you take casually, Lauren. You can't stretch yourself so thin, you know? You gotta find some kind of balance," he sighed once.

        "I can't afford that. I have to pay the bills, and go to school full time. It's difficult."  I said, knowing I've had this conversation with my mom before. She came out to see me the week of finals, and I could not tell you how many lectures I got about my habits for those six days she was with me. "I don't have a choice with these things, they aren't negotiable."

        "But I'm an option," he said in a low murmur, like he was thinking to himself. I knew what he was thinking, and I instantly cut him off by shaking my head. He glanced down at me before asking, "what?"

        "Don't even think about telling me that we should hang out less," I said while putting the last piece of sandwich into my mouth. I pushed myself forward and placed the plate on the table before falling back against him.

        "If it makes things easier for you, then why not?" he asked, but even so, I could tell he didn't like the idea much either. I shook my head again. That wasn't an option.

        "Because, that wouldn't be easier," I said, crossing my arms. "I wouldn't be happy. You wouldn't be happy. We'd just get frustrated. I don't want that."

        Zack paused for a moment before letting out a defeated breath. I knew that he realized that even if he swore me off completely, I'd still come around because I knew him better than that. I knew that he was against the idea just as much as I was, and that I would show up just as much as before. No matter what he said or did, I wasn't going away, not this time.

        "Okay," He said with another sight, turning his head towards me before pressing his lips to the side of my temple. I melted at his touch, wrapping my hand around his, filling in the gaps of his open palms with my smaller figures. He rubbed his thumb over the top of my skin gently before repeating himself. "Okay."

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