(3) Not the Same: An All Time Low Fanfiction Romance

Chapter 47: Hate

        I stared at the open door where Zack had just been standing. He was gone. Everything I feared would happen happened, and he didn't want to be with me anymore. He was upset that I had lied, upset at the person I had become. The way he was looking at me made that perfectly clear.

        A rustling behind me made me turn my head slowly, remembering that there was soneone else in the apartment. Through blurry eyes I watched as Craig picked up the duggle bag he'd had on his trip. He put it over his shoudler before reaching and grabbing his own keys from the counter.

        "What, where are you going?" I stuttered, watching him with wide eyes. I couldn't have expected him to stay here after that fight, but my head was still pounding and all I wanted to do was lie down and forget about this night.    

        "A friend's house, I'm not staying here," He muttered, before walking throught he threshold, slamming the apartment door behind him. Even though I saw it coming, the bang made me flinch, jumpstarting my hearta gain.

        I stared after him for a moment before turning slowly. I took a step, almost falling in my heels before I bent down and ripped them off, chucking them across the room. Luckily, they only hit the bachtorom door and fell, leaving no damage.

        I made my way to my room, shaking as I shut the door and collapse onto my bed. I felt like I had a thousand pounds of bricks sitting on my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. My body was convulsing as tears poured steadily out of my eyes. I felt even more lightheaded, and I coudln't calm myself down.

        I hated how everything had turned out. I lost Zack and most like Craig as well. It was the furthest thing from what I wanted, the exact opposite.

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        When I woke up the next morning, my eyes were puffy, hard to open all the way from how swollen they'd become from crying until I fell asleep. Along with that, my headache was just as bad as it had been last night, and overall, I looked exactly how I felt: a hot mess.

        I dragged myself out of bed, only so I could shower, change into comfortable clothes and grab some medicine from the cabinet. After that, I headed back towards my room, only to be stopped by the buzzing sound telling me someone wanted to come to my apartment. I stared blankly at the door, listening to it buzz again. With my headache, the noise wasn't helping. I shuffled to let them in and then walked to the couch, curling up without waiting to see who it was.

        I'd assumed it was Stella, knowing nobody else who didn't have a key and would want to come over, and I knew I was right as soon as the door opened and she was calling my name.

        "Laur?" she said softly, closing the door gently before walking over to me. She placed her bag and sunglasses ont he counter, eyes never leaving mine as she walked over and sat beside me on the couch.

        "Lauren," she sighed, leaning forward to wrap her arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. "What the hell happened?" she asked, her voice still soft, sounding of only concern mixed with shock.

        "Za -- he didn't tell you?" I couldn't even say his name at this point.

        "No, he didn't want to talk," she said softly, leaning away. One hand stayed comfortably on my shoulder, the other fell to her knee, resting there.

        I took a deep breath before launching into the story, giving her the argument between the three of us word-for-word. She listened, not once interrupting, staying silent even when I had to take a breath to choke back tears before continuing. Replaying the night for Stella was as worse as reliving it again physically. I could picture Craig's face when I stumbled through the door, drunk and clinging to Zack, and I could picture Zack's face when I blurted out that I'd been sleeping with Craig.

        "Oh, Laur," she sighed agian, after I finished. She wrapped her arms around me again, muttering. "I'm so sorry."

        "You don't need to be," I mumbled, running my hands through my hair as she leaned away again. "I brought it on myself. I knew something like this would happen. I just, I thought that it wouldn't be this bad. I thought I'd have the chance to explain to both of them, and I know they'd still be mad, but they would've heard it right from me and maybe everything could have worked out. Instead, they're both mad at me. They both left and I don't know if and when Craig will come back and I know Zack hates me."

        Stella cut me off at that point, reaching out to touch my arm as a way to silence me before she said, "I don't think he hates you."

        "You didn't see his face last night," I said miserably. I had, and I couldn't get it out of my head. "He looked disgusted, like I'm not the same person, and I'm not. I'm not even close to bring the same person and I lied to him and I just screwed everything up," I rambled.

        "I really, really don't think he hates you," Stella said again. I wanted to roll my eyes, to tell her that there was no chance he didn't.       

        "I think he's upset, relly upset, and confused and angry," she started, and at that point, I did roll my eyes, but my head was turned away so she didn't see the gesture.

        "He might as well hate me, all that pretty much goes hand in hand with hate," I muttered, but Stella just shook her head softly and continued, despite my negative attitude. She wasn't going to have up. It was just her nature. She was too stubborn, and to good of a person to let me sit here and wallow in my misery. Her goal had obviously been to not only learn what happened, but to try and make me feel like less of a screw up. What she said next may have surprised me, but I couldn't bring myself to believe, as much as I would've liked to.

        "I also think he cares about you too much to hate you," she added softly. I turned to her, my look questioning what she had just said, but she just smiled softly and nodded, like she had never been surer of herself.