Behind the Smile

Chapter 12

Promise POV

I'm not gonna lie even with everything that happened a couple weeks ago it felt like a relief. I am so glad that it came out. It was a weight on my shoulder that I didn't even know was there. Although Raya And I haven't talked... which I'm not surprised I deserve it. But also Raya and I haven't talked I feel like she deserved the truth at the end of the day and I wasn't going to be the one to tell her. So like they always say God allows things for a reason.

I ended up not going to California because I felt as though I had to reevaluate my life. I was in a dark place and I didn't even know it I am still in a dark place so I had to fix that before I can worry about anything in for the first time my mental health comes before money. I think I at least owed it to myself. All these years of blaming my dad for me being so fucked up in the head I didn't take accountability for allowing him to still have that control over me even though he has passed away. I should've been went to therapy I should've been did what the fuck I needed to do but I just allow myself to marinate in my own fuck ups.

"So I can come down there or up there soon I just felt like I needed to get my shit together."

"It's no rush I just want you to make sure you are straight before you even try to entertain me." I nodded. "Plus these last couple of weeks I just allow myself to be a dad and just be a regular human. Because like you said I'm overworking myself way too much and even though I feel like I am mortal my body still get tired. So thank you for helping me realize that."

"No problem at all, that was all you."

"So did you ever go back to the house?"

"Yeah but that jawn was like a ghost town. She change the locks so Aug had to open the door for me. I saw her walk in the kitchen but she never even acknowledged my existence which I can't blame nobody but myself. I had to sit back and realize a lot of shit that I did to her was really really fucked up. So if she decides to forgive me or even if she don't that's completely your choice and I understand it." He nodded.

"Once the final decision is me on whether she forgives you or not and if y'all can move on no matter the choice shit is going to feel way better. Because now it's just like you're waiting and you're on high alert but once the shit passover you gone be cool. But I still think you should sit down and actually talk about the shit that went down and I don't know any of it but this is what I feel respectfully." I nodded in agreement. "But right now the ball is exactly where it needs to be which is in her court." I nodded.

"yeah I feel like the process that we're going through right now it's just so stressful and not knowing if she forgives me or not is the most stressful thing of this whole situation but I can't rush her because it's not my place at all." I sighed.

"Right." He licked his lips and looked out the window. "Hey." He waved and rolled down his window.

"Hey I don't wanna be rude but my little guy here loves you."

"Wussup little man?" He dapped him up.

"Wussup." I hear his soft voice through the phone.

"I like the shirt but it's a little chilly out here. Hold up." I nodded and Chris reached a crossed the passenger and grabbed his coat and got out.

Seeing him interact with kids just makes him ten time sexier.

"Okay y'all have a great day. I love y'all too." He got back in the car. "No the coat is his... it's fine... thank you." He laughed.

"That is so cute. I am coming tomorrow what you got planned."

He laughed.

"Nothing was just gone chill in the crib get some pussy." I rolled my eyes and he laughed. "I am playing relax but come on."