Melancholic (BxB)

Chapter 21

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the time when I first discovered I was gay.

To be honest, I don't actually remember the exact moment. I recall seeing a movie when I was about 13, which was quite sexual, don't ask me why I was watching that kind of movies at such a young age. I don't know the name of the movie but I do remember that there was a sex scene between a man and a woman. I also remember how I started looking at the man and thinking how handsome he was.

But that wasn't my first man crush. Actually I'm not even sure if I can call this one a crush because it could have been just a friendship and I couldn't really tell the difference back then. I was too young to understand that kind of stuff and my memories of that age are very fragile.

Anyhow, before I moved back in this town where I live now with my parents I was originally with my grandparents who moved in a different town when I was really young and took me with them. That place was much larger than this one. I was in school there for about 4 years and I remember in 3rd grade we had a transfer student from Korea. His name was Tae-soo. He didn't speak English very well when he first arrived so a lot of the kids made fun of him because of that. I, on the other hand, tried my best to help him study English and he taught me a little about his own culture. I don't remember much about him but there is one thing that I don't think I'll ever forget.

One day when we were going back from school I saw a little kitten crossing the street. The cat looked so adorable that I decided to pick him up and take him home with me. Unfortunately, my grandma was allergic to cats and I knew I wasn't going to allowed to keep him but Tae-soo assured me we could take care of the kitten together. We planned to build a small house for our little pet somewhere cozy where we'd bring food to him every day after school. I was so happy and excited for the rest of the road that a silly smile wouldn't leave my lips for even one second.

But soon everything changed for worse. When we were not too far from my house, out of nowhere a dog started running towards us, growling and showing its teeth aggressively. The dog's eyes were glued to my chest where I was holding a poor kitten and its gaze was so intense I felt like it could pierce through my entire body. My mind was alarming me to get away from there as fast as possible but I was so terrified I couldn't even move my feet to take a step let alone run. The dog noticed how fearful I was as it begun barking once it got closer to us and remained in an attacking stance as it was preparing to strike, probably waiting for me to make the first move.

I remembered that my grandpa told me that dogs could feel when you're afraid and so you shouldn't show your emotions to them even if you're really scared. I tried my best to stay still in hope that the dog would just leave us alone and closed my eyes praying for a miracle as my life flashed before my eyes. My braveness didn't last for very long and I instinctively took a step back without even realizing. My action angered the dog even more and it took that as its cue and marched towards us with his teeth aimed at me.

When I saw what was happening I unintentionally fell on my butt. After that I figured there was nothing in this world that could save me so I hugged the little kitten tightly in hope that I could at least protect him. In just a few very brief seconds the dog closed the distance between us and started barking even louder just a few inches away from my face. I let out a desperate scream as Tae-soo threw rocks at it but nothing worked. As I fell to the ground the dog lunged towards me and scratched my right brow with its claws. I felt so much pain in the upper part of my face that I couldn't hold it in anymore as the mix of tears and blood covered my cheeks. I put my hand on my injured brow to prevent the blood flow.

Oh and I got a scar from that accident by the way, which actually some people really liked but I hated it for my entire childhood because everyone was asking me how I got it and it was so annoying telling the same story over and over again.