Melancholic (BxB)

Chapter 64

"I'm sorry I forgot to call and let you know I was out of town. I'll come to the hospital once I get back probably in a few days." I talked on the phone when my doctor called to find out why I missed my checkup.

"Is everything alright? Why did you decide to travel all of a sudden?" He asked.

"Well I..." It wasn't easy for me to tell him about my father because I could hardly believe it myself. "I had to go back to my hometown because my dad got into a car accident and he was in a critical condition."

"That's horrible... How is he now?" The doctor clearly wanted to know more details.

"He..." I hesitated for a moment because saying those words out loud was way more difficult than I imagined. "He passed away..."

"Oh... I'm so sorry." The doctor sounded quite apologetic for some reason. "I was only calling to check up on you but since you're not in town we can reschedule. Your concussion is probably healed by now but you should still come to my office when you get back just to make sure everything is going according to plan."

"Yes, I will visit you as soon as I can." I confirmed his statement.

"Uh..." He paused for a second before continuing with a question. "I know this isn't exactly the right time to say this but it would be quite helpful for your mental state if you resolved the issues you had with the people from your past. It may be too late to speak with your father but your mother is still there and maybe you should make an effort to reconnect with her. You might not get another chance in the future considering the way you described your relationship with her so if it's not too hard for you try and talk to her..."

"I already tried that with both of my parents but nothing is working. My father rejected me the same way he did before I left my hometown and my mom doesn't even want to listen to me. For a moment I actually hoped we would have a chance to resurrect our bond but now I'm not even sure if we ever had a bond in the first place. I haven't even seen her ever since she found out about my dad's death. She just ran away... That's something she used to do a lot back in the day and you know what they say, old habits die hard or whatever. I really can't focus on her right now because I have to go to my father's funeral..."

"I understand." My doctor replied after a short pause. "You seem to be busy currently so I won't hold you any longer. But do contact me when you arrive here so we can postpone your appointment."

"Of course." I nodded instinctively even though he couldn't see me. "Goodbye then."

He also said bye before hanging up. I put my phone on the table and continued what I was doing before the doctor's call interrupted me. I took the black suit which was resting on the bed and gave it a one last glance while removing tiny particles of dust from the material with my hand. Then I laid my eyes on the equally dark colored trousers which were on the sheets as well and brushed it before putting it on. Once I was all dressed up I took a quick look in the mirror in order to adjust my hair but I gave up as soon as I recalled no one would even appreciate my efforts of looking decent and presentable because every resident of this stupid town hated my guts.

I opened the door when I was done feeling sorry for myself, while sighing simultaneously and got out of my room. I was greeted by a few sad smiles from my friends who were waiting for me to take me to my dad's funeral.

Thinking about those words again was strange. It was hard enough to believe what happened to him but not only that I also had to go and stand there while someone was going to put his coffin in the ground and that was going to be the last place he'd ever rest once and for all.

How was one supposed to feel when their father died? I wasn't sure if I had to pretend like I was fine or just act like he was the best dad ever and cry my eyes out. I couldn't do either because I definitely wasn't fine but I also didn't want to shed the tears. Not because I thought he was unworthy or anything, I just didn't have any tears left in my eyes. They all disappeared along with my innocence and naivety.