Forever and Always (Romanogers fanfic)

Chapter 18

Natasha's POV

I stared at the cold grey stone. The words engraved made me shiver. It had been a month since Steve had passed. And everyday I cried. And every day I visited him. And everyday I rememberd.

It had left a huge gap in my life. A whole chunk, it seemed, had been removed. Leaving a blank space where my sorrows lied. I'd started to become irritable and sad. Steve had changed me as much as anyone could. I still knew all those dark memories were there. And at times I would bring them back. To feel anything but grief for the loss of my loved one.

I had kept Steve's shield, it lay silently up against the wall. And his uniform folded with my own clothes. I couldn't leave them. I couldn't let go of anything of Steven's. I would keep everything I could to remind me of him.

I wasn't, however, the only one to take it this badly. Bucky was the same. Pepper had even tried to get us to see councillors but we both refused. Steve's death wasn't something we could let go of so lightly. It was a painful and slow process, it would take time for all the scars to heal. And they were scars and scars never really left.

The wind, cold and crule, bit against my skin. And I thought back to the subway platform when Steve came back. When everything had changed. It had been a bumpy ride and it all just went down hill. But I still smiled at the thought of such a time. Even if I could have, I would've never changed it. Well, most of it.

I turned away from the grave stone and walked back down the path. It felt odd walking away. Because I was always leaving a bit of myself behind. Where as most of me kept moving on and living, a segment of the puzzle was broken.

Broken and buried.

I saw Clint waiting for me at the gate of the graveyard and waved. He smiled back and shoved his hands into his pockets. He'd been fragile lately, he seemed more moved by the death of his colleague then I thought. But he'd always been fragile. Like me. Both of us were.

I guess it was because all the pain we suffered. It hadn't made it bearable. It had made it the opposite. Unbearable. Cold. Painful.

"You ok?" Clint asked as I neared. I only nodded, not wanting to say anything more. I was an amazing liar, but Clint was rarely fooled. "Tony said that he has a mission for us." Clint mumbled. And at this I stopped.

It had been, what? Months since our last. And it hadn't ended well. "Another base?" I asked, picking up my pace again. Clint nodded, "Yeah. It's only you and me, though. It shouldn't be too hard." I sighed, "How many hours till we're off?" "Three."

*****

The air was heavy and the ground was damp. I bent down in a crouch as I investigated the building. It wasn't heavily guarded and Clint would be there to take down men from afar.

I silently crept along the side of the building and saw my first target. The man stood only a few metres away, so I took a beep breath and collected myself. Then I struck.

As soon as the first man was down Clint started to shoot. And with me hopping around and strangling or stinging men everywhere, it all went rather fast.

The mission was finished with a collection of data and then a quick last look for survivors. Of course there were none.

In the jet back home I fell asleep. And finally, after a month of nightmares, my dreams turned peaceful. Something had lifted of my shoulders. Of that I was certain.

A bit of a lousy chapter. I'm sorry, please forgive me. Also, this book is very soon coming to an end, and I've decided to add an epilogue!!

Happy reading!

Swiftie82

P.s if any of you noticed the Taylor Swift reference I'll give you a virtual cookie!!!!!