Forever and Always (Romanogers fanfic)

Chapter 2

Steve's POV

 I woke up in a puddle of sweat, my breathing heavy. This wasn't the first time I'd had this nightmare. Everytime it would be the same. I would be stuck in a room, Natasha's screams for help would ring through my ears. As I tried to find an exsit the sceams became louder, driving me more mad. Eventually I would find a way out. Then I would see Natasha bleeding on the floor but when I tried to reach out to her my body froze. I didn't have control over it anymore, it was slowly shutting down, the virus had killed me. But worst thing was I'd screamed at Nat, begging her to move, show me she was alive, but she never did. we had both died inches apart from each other, my hand nearly touching hers but never really makeing contact. Only just out of reach. 

I hopped out of bed and went into the kitchen. I poured my self some water and sat down. My body shudered, I could feel the virus spreading. I clenched my fists and shut my eyes. For some unknown reason this made me feel more safe. From what, I did not know. 

I heared someone move behind me, I didn't bother looking up I knew who it was. "Hi Nat." I said lazily, "Hey." She answerd. There was a silence beetwwen us then Natasha said, "Sleep well?" "No." I said shacking my head, "You?" Natasha nodded, I guess.." I could tell Nat was up set, "Hey, what's the matter?" I reach out to comfort her but stopped. I couldn't hurt her like this. Tears weald up in Natasha's eyes, "Do you not know what's wrong?" she whimperd, "I do and I'm sorry. There's just nothing I can do about it..." Natasha sighed, "I know, I just wish it wasn't like this." "I do too, I think all of them will..

I stood in front of the door. Something in me told me not to tell the others. I walked into the room anyway. Everyone look slightly confused, everyone excet Natasha and Bruce. I had called Tony to tell him to gather everyone hear. 

I took a deep breath in. Natasha put her hand on my shoulder, my body tensed. "Nat...?" I whisperd, "It's alright.." she whisperd back. Clint frowned, "Are you guys ok?" I was staring into Nat's eyes, not breaking contact I answerd Clint. "We're fine..." I turned to the group formed in front of me. Tony, Clint, Bruce, Maria, Bucky, Pepper, Thor, I thought he'd be gone already. And suprisingly his brother, I was still get used to him being around. "Go on." Natasha urged politly. So I took another breath in and started to talk....

They all stared in disbelief. The silence after my spech lasted far to long for my liking. Bucky was the one to finally break it, "I'm so sorry, man." he said standing up and  walking over to me. He placed his metal arm on my shoulder. At first my hopes we're high, I could make contact with another human being. Then there was an unexpected turn, electronic volts vibrated in my shoulder and shuderd through his arm. Bucky cried in pIan as the electricity hit his flesh. 

I ran out of the door. I needed to get away, put distance from me and the people I cared for. I looked for the nerest roof top to sit on and climbed up the side of building. I sat in silence, my mind running over my actions in the tower. Bucky's cry  of agony as I, his best friend, electrocuted him. The damage hadn't been serious but that didn't stop me from feeling guilt. I wold die like this. No human contact, the thought saddend me further. Then, as if the world hated me, it started to rain. No, hail. Rain and hail. Then the thunder started, and the lighting. I didn't care much, but it really was just inconvenient. I rested my head in my hands and slowly got myself together. 

There was a noise next to me, I looked up. Natasha was sitting beside me hands shoved in her jacket pockets. "Hey there soldier." she gretted, obviusly trying to make me feel better. This however had no affect. "Hi." I said quietly, "What do you wan't?" Natasha smiled, "How are you feeling?" she asked. I looked up at her, my eyes telling all she needed to know. "Yeah, I thought so." she sighed scartching her head. We sat in pure quiet for a few minutes, the Nat skope again. "Mabye you should come back inside. You'll catch a cold stuck out in the rain like this." There was a pause, "I suppose that doesn't matter, huh." I still couldn't bring myself to speak, so, I just didn't. 

I could feel Natasha's eyes on me. I didn't wan't to meet her gaze, it would no doubt make me feel worse. However, Natasha had different plans. "Steve, please, look at me." I did as I was told and met  her sad gaze. She said nothing, nither did I. The next  thing I knew was Natasha's lips were pressed against mine. I could feel the pain rush through her but she had her hands on my head, makeing sure I didn't pull away. I didn't kiss her back,  I couldn't, I wouldn't put her through that much pain. I just wasn't willing to do so. 

The kiss ended abruptly. Natasha looked into my eyes, her own full of tears, quietly resting on her cheeks. She kissed me again, softly on the cheek. Then she stood up and left me, all alone once again. Alone on the roof top, just like I deserved to be. This is how i'm gonna live the rest of my life. I thought, and it seemed to me there was nothing  I could do about it.

A/N Sorry this took so long. I've been very bust lately, but the next update should come soon. Thanks for being patient with me! 

Love you all, 

Swiftie82