Forever and Always (Romanogers fanfic)

Chapter 19

Natasha's POV

Trust

/tr^st/

The firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.

For me it had always been a touchy subject. Something of great stress and worry. Weather to trust someone or not had been the one thing I questioned the most. The one thing I never failed to completely analyze.

I had moved around people in a shifting manner. Careful and calculated. Cold and curt. Never failing to rifle through the whole contents of the bag.

But I'd made the occasional mistakes. I'd miss judged people before and it had led to hurt. But I always got back up.

Always.

And now, it seemed I'd learned to trust so many people. Only to have them crossed of the list. It was as though all I'd gone through had led up to this. This one moment when everything had gone wrong.

The one person I loved had been taken from me. Stolen by death himself.

I sat with my legs hanging over the edge of cliff. At the bottom the sea turned and twisted. Forever in a plotted dance. Graceful and wild. Stronger than stone. After all, water was unbreakable.

I heard movement behind me and looked up. Bucky stood there, his metal hand shoved into his pocket. He came and sat down next to me.

"Not thinking of jumping, are you?" If it was ment to be a joke it was a terrible one.
"No. Are you?" I must say I wasn't prepared for what came after.

"Mabye. Mabye, yes."

I didn't answer for a long time, it really had shocked me. Truly.
"Why, Buck?"
And the answer was a sad one.

"There's no one left now. They all died. And I'm pondering weather I should join them. I mean, I not even ment to still be alive, am I?"

I didn't feel like answering but I did. "Bucky, is this really what you want?" And I'm glad he paused.

"I'm not even sure. I just can't stand to be reminded of all of it. Every single day. It feels wrong, you know."

And I did know. It always felt wrong to the last one standing. It was as though you were guilty of a crime. Except you didn't know why, how or if it happened. It was all rather confusing. 

But you had to except that you weren't responsible. That everyone dies. But I needed to help Bucky. I needed him to get out of whatever dark and haunting road he was taking.

~~~~~~~~~~

I pushed passed Tony as I walked to my room. I heard him complain, buy didn't pay attention. I was good at that. Shutting the doors around me. I fumbled around in my draw looking for some paper.

Clicking the pen, I started to write. This is what I wrote.

Dear all,

As you very well know this has been a difficult time for me. I feel trapped here, at the tower. So, I've decided to go traveling for a year. I'll miss you all very much but I'll definitely be back. You've all become very important people in my life. True friends. Thank you.

P.s. The nutella is hidden somewhere in the tower. First to find it wins an extravagant gift from whatever country I'm in at the time!!!!!

This chapter is a kind of like the filling in between a two tiered cake. Like....an extra chapter that's boring but must be there. You know? Anyway. There's one more chapter and an epilogue and then I'm finished!!

Love you all!!!!!!!

Swiftie82