Chapter 21 - A Rising Senior

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Sometimes, Lily wished she had a more exciting life. She realized this was an absurd notion. Her entire family was comprised of vampires, but still, the summer months proved to be long. Days seemed to drag on.

and on.

and on.

and on.

Until she felt like banging her head against her bedroom walls. She had run away to California, but she had returned barely a week later. She did attend graduation and watched as Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie all received their diplomas, but that was of little importance to them. There weren't even enough caps to add to their interesting collage.

Her summer wasn't bad per se. Lily filled up time with much of the same activities she always did. It wasn't uncommon for Micheal, Becca, Amber, and Lily to waste sunny days at the lake. They still hung out around town or occasionally hiked. Micheal's family was still convinced the two of them were secretly dating and it was too exhausting to correct them. It was humorous even if Lily did occasionally feel her heart sink for her friend who had to hide a part of himself.

They talked about college. They talked about college a lot. College was a fresh start. It was the easiest way to leave a small town and find yourself away from people who had known you your entire life. Lily wasn't concerned about college. She knew she could go anywhere that would accept her. Knowing that the Cullens would pay for her education was a luxury that most of her classmates didn't have. She also had to remind herself she was a Cullen too even if the surname Fields hung over her like a curse sometimes. Constantly taunting and reminding her she won't ever fully belong. She had always pictured herself studying in Alaska or Washington. She imagined her siblings attending alongside her, helping her if she ran into any issues. She now knew that was a fool's dream or maybe, a fool's dream for her. She couldn't picture Edward ever willingly leaving Bella. Maybe she would move cross country. Go to school in the south and reinvent yourself.

So yeah, Lily's summer wasn't any different than it normally was. It just felt hollow. All her interactions just seemed empty. She constantly felt unsettled. Her skin was itching and crawling for something. She could tell Micheal was getting concerned, but she shut down any of his attempts to talk about it. All of this, her life in Forks, was just a ticking clock set to expire. Lily knew she would be ready for the next steps. She had to be. She didn't have any other option.

Things were also changing for the entire Cullen clan. To say Bella and Edward were attached was an understatement. It was sweet, Lily guessed, even if it was a bit tiresome. Her family seemed to think it was sweet, anyway. Rosalie was probably the only figure of discontent, but she seemed to be constantly irritable these days. The two are arguably spending more time together than ever, but it was strained. They both seemed to want to be anywhere besides the other, they would sit in tense silence until someone was called to be elsewhere.

Rosalie had no problem at the beginning of summer commenting on her spending time with her friends and making her opinion known of humans. She was, however, quick to shut up when Lily not so kindly reminded her of her own humanity. A tense ceasefire seems to have been created. Rosalie would just silently judge her as she went about her business. Lily could only assume Rosalie was hanging around her to reassure her that the blonde did not hate her. Lily partly thinks it would be easier if she did. She was obviously holding something back which only added to Lily's desire to bang her head against her wall until she could stop thinking. While Lily once found comfort in Rosalie's presence in her room at night, it now felt stifling. Instead of peaceful silence, it was now tense and she wasn't sure if she wanted to kick the blonde vampire out or pull her closer. The weight of things left unsaid hanging in the room until they suffocated her to sleep. If Lily could take back all of prom night she would just for the simple fact she could go back to living in ignorance of how she felt towards Rosalie. She was even now more confident in her assessment of Rosalie that the vampire could never feel the same way given their new strain.

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