A Certain Metamorphosis || Rosalie Hale

Chapter 32 - With Thoughtless Feelings

One of the good things about living for decades was the added ability to let your mind become blank for hours at a time. It wasn't true dissociation, but it wasn't far off. There were only so many hours that someone can handle being attentive. It was nice that Rosalie was able to close her eyes and simply let her mind wander for hours. She tried to think of inconsequential things. It was hard to do.

She could feel it when day broke. Sunlight slowly started to filter in from the window and shined on the foot of the bed. She could feel the body next to her move closer as Lily shifted in her sleep. She could feel the warm puffs of air hitting her collarbone as the human breathed steadily. She instinctively held the girl tighter.

The amount of panic she felt when no one would tell her what happened seemed overwhelming at the time. Lily had looked almost pitiful. It wasn't something she was used to seeing. Panic mixed with fear led her to fear for the worst. Rosalie had never been a very optimistic person. She hated seeing the girl so scared. She hated getting home and not knowing what happened to her. She didn't begrudge staying with her last night.

She selfishly loved that Lily needed her.

It didn't make sense to her. Lily could do so much better than her. She should have never been subjected to their coven. Unlike Edward, Rosalie didn't think they were damned, but they didn't have much to live for. What was the point of eternal life if it wasn't worth living? At the end of the day, Rosalie was happy with her life, but there were moments it felt hollow. She dreamed about what her life could have been. She had to watch as opportunities were created for people, and for women, that she was never afforded. Sure, Rosalie was able to get higher education. She could travel. She could gain all these experiences, but she was frozen in time. She could never grow. In her worst moments, she thought she was nothing more than a pretty photograph. She was beautiful, nice to look at, but held no real value. Most of the time, she treasured her beauty. It was the one thing that didn't change after her transformation. It had always been the one thing she took pride in. If anything, it improved. On the other hand, most of her troubles had been caused by it.

She was only pulled out of her thoughts by Lily trying to untangle her limbs. While Rosalie had tried to keep the peace in her room, she wasn't the only person home. There was already a whirl of activity downstairs.

"Don't they know people are trying to sleep?" Lily murmured, voice still deep from sleep.

Rose snorted. "Afraid you're in the minority there, Lil."

Lily rolled over onto her back stretching as Rosalie stood up to give the girl space.

Rosalie continued. "I would just be grateful they gave you as much sleep as they did. There are things you need to know. I don't think you get a choice anymore."

Lily nodded. She figured as much. It always seemed as if she was a few steps behind the vampires. She didn't feel the need to respond.

Rosalie felt awkward simply standing in the girl's room. "Well, I'll leave you to it. Come down when you're ready." She moved to leave.

'Rose, wait."

The girl in question froze. She could hear the covers rustling on the bed as Lily moved to stand. Lily looked as awkward as Rosalie felt as she turned to face her. "Just, thank you for last night. I, umm, was kind of out of it. I really appreciate you staying."

The girl's face was quite red. Rosalie would have found it funny if she didn't think hers would look the exact same way if it could.

"Honestly, I didn't mind."

The two smiled and let the sentence hang between them. Rosalie just slightly nodded and left the room.

Rosalie felt lighter as she made her way downstairs.