He never Cried (ASHLEY 8) ☑

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

I was too young when I started to like him. Still too young when I think I'm in love with him. And I can't say that I am old enough now that I came to realized that I am badly smitten.

He is confusing, he is like a math problem. The given are obvious, but the answer remains unknown and mysterious.

Sa mga ginagawa niya, hindi ko mapigilang mag-aasume. He is caring too much for me, that it leads me to think that maybe he likes me too. But he's not saying anything about it... he's not either confirming or denying it. At iyon ang mahirap.

Why can't he tell me the truth? Para di ako masyadong umasa. If he wants us to be friends then I'll draw us a boundary, I'll make sure I won't cross that. Mas mabuti iyong sabihin niya sa akin ang kung ano ba talaga ang totoo niyang nararamdaman sa akin para handa ako...

But just like how eager I am to know his true feelings for me... ganoon din ako katakot. Handa ba talaga akong malaman ang totoo? Okay lang ba talaga sa akin kung sakaling hanggang pagkaka-ibigan lang ang kaya niyang ibigay? Hindi ba ako magsisi? Kaya ko bang pigilan ang sarili ko?

"Ti-next ko si Cedric, sinabi kong nakabalik ka na at may balak na puntahan siya."

"Tapos? Anong sabi?"

"Magkita nalang daw tayong tatlo sa Starbucks kung san tayo tumatambay noon."

I nodded to agree, na para bang kaharap ko lang siya. Starbucks is just a few minutes of walk from our school.

I have this feeling that I'll be needing a perfect speech for Cedric, iniisip ko palang ang galit niyang mukha ay kinakabahan na ako. I just hope he's not so mad at me, sana lang ay gaya dati, maintindihan niya ako.

Nang natapos na ang tawag ay kaagad akong nagpakawala ng buntong hininga, I feel exhausted even though I haven't done anything but stay here in my room and wrote a draft lyrics, I was bored kaya nagsulat nalang ako ng kanta. After a few minutes of staring at my empty bed, I resume writing. Huminto lang ako ng makaramdam ako ng pangangalay ng kamay.

Inikot ko ang swivel kung saan ako naka-upo at hininto tapos inikot ulit. My study table's chair is a swivel chair, di gaya ng dati, it feels more comfy though. Hindi ako tumigil hanggat di ako nakaramdam ng hilo. Sakto namang pagkahinto ko at napunta sa illustration board na nakalagay sa isang frame ang panigin ko.

I read what's written on it and unconsciously smiled, tumayo ako at nilapitan ito. I carefully held it. Using my index finger, I traced the letters written on the illustration board-- inside it's picture frame. His penmanship is neat and too formal. Na para bang sinasampal sayo kung gaano kapangit ang sulat kamay mo.

"Anak, kakain na." Tawag sa akin ni Mommy matapos siyang kumatok sa aking pinto.

Ibinalik ko sa ibabaw ng aking mesa ang hawak ko, sa mesa kung saan din nakalagay ang mga pictures ko at framed na certificates. I took another glance at it before I finally get out from my room.

I wasn't surprised to see Mommy waiting for me outside my room, she's been like this towards me lately. Actually, both of Her and Daddy has been paying attention to me, just like before.

I should be delighted about the good changes that they're doing, but there's something inside me that finds it suspicious. It's too good to be true. They don't work that much, and they don't get out and meet their clients or investors most of the time at all.