More Than A Hero

Request #2: "You Have No Idea" (Harley X Peter Parker)

Prompt: Parley oneshot where Harley is some super badass agent (Like Romanoff level) and meets Spider-Man and get into a flirty sparring match 

Requested by: Phil__Coulson

Language Warning. Like, I know I normally have swears, but this shall have the most swears.

Also, I totally f*cked it up at the end. Sorry, Phil. I had a good start, I think, but when I came in to finish it, I was mostly focused on how dizzy I feel. Also, I have some end-of-term exams quickly approaching, so I'm a lil' stressed. If I don't finish typing everything I wanna type by the end of the year, I won't be able to type anything over my summer break, since I spend it with family. It's the one time I focus 100% on my peeps.

Harley looked around the corner, then started to run in a half-crouch. He couldn't afford to be se- "Where do you think you're going, thief?" 

"Well fuck me running," the agent growled, then ran full speed, throwing caution out the window. "Yeah, I imagine that'd be hard," he heard as his foot flew backwards. "You're not getting away that easily," his opponent said. When he picked his face off the ground, he looked back. Spiderman. Great. Just what I needed. Instead of voicing these thoughts, he opted for smirking flirtatiously. "Damn, if you wanted me that badly, you could've just asked."

Spiderman tilted his head and ran over, yanking the bag off Harley's back. I don't think so, he thought as he sprang up, punching the hero in the jaw. "Ow! What the hell?!" Spidey kicked his feet out, throwing up the bag and shooting a web to make it stick to a wall. Even worse, out of reach of Harley. "I would rather not screw someone who's running, thanks," he remarked. Harley looked at the bag, backing up to keep both it and his attacker in his field of vision. Laughing, he ran a hand through his hair in a way that suggested he had all the time in the world. Slowly, purposefully, perfectly. "You sure about that? I've heard I'm quite...skilled."

The hero groaned, ripping off his mask. The two knew each other's identities before HArley became an agent for Hydra, so this was not a surprise. What did surprise him though, was the look on Peter's face. He no longer looked like he was locked in a constant pout, but instead had the poker face of a model. Well, he would, if not for the look of utter exasperation he wore. "What the hell is wrong with you? Everyone knows that's a myth. Besides, I'm better."

"In your dreams, pretty boy!" Harley yelled, running at him. Surprise delayed his reaction, so Harley had already jumped up and vaulted off his shoulders by the time he could move. Right as his fingers had a grip on the webbing, he was yanked back by his ankle. Next thing he knows, his wrists are being pinned to the floor and Peter is sitting on his stomach.

He smiled crookedly. "Just how desperate are you to prove you're better?" He teased. Peter flushed dark red but leaned into his ear. "Pretty darn desperate, if it keeps you here, Har."  His response made Harley turn as red as the hero's suit. "You want me that bad, huh?"

"You have no idea."

The two were trying not to kiss when Peter's back-up arrived.