More Than A Hero

ALONE-I PREVAIL SONGFIC (Natasha X ANY)

(This one's a bit long. Sorry. It's also angsty. Sorry about that too.)

"We used to have it all."

It used to be good. No, not good. It was great.

"It was us against the world, but now"

You and Natasha were the closest of all the Avengers, even closer than Steve and Bucky. It was no surprise when the two of you announce you were getting married. But then Thanos snapped, and she went with Clint to get the Soul Stone, and....

"I've been sleeping on my own."

When she died, you felt it. You were standing next to Bruce, and nearly fell forward into the equipment. It felt like someone had popped a balloon in your lungs, and all the air in you was forced out. "Nat!" You'd screamed. Bruce jumped and looked at you. "What?" Your voice shook when you spoke, collapsing to your knees. "Natasha....no..." 

"Spending all these nights alone knowing you're not coming home"

You shot up in your bed, your hand flying to the spot that she once slept in. In a panic, you felt around, searching for her, but then let out a choked sob when you remembered: She's gone. She's not coming back home.

"'Cause you're running through my dreams"

Every night, it was the same dream. You and Natasha, training together. She'd yell playful taunts, you'd yell flirty ones back right before getting kicked in the jaw. Natasha would laugh, apologize, and you'd stop to go put some ice on it.

"It's like you're on repeat"

A week of the dream seemed fair. But then it was 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 4 months... every night, the same thing. You couldn't seem to stop dreaming of her. 

"Feels like eternity, and I can't believe"

It got to the point where you asked to be given anything that could make you sleep without dreaming. You took a pill designed by Bruce, and it seemed to work, for the most part. You still woke up in a cold sweat sometimes, but more often than not you just slept and woke up. Every day, you still found yourself surprised when a cold pair of hands didn't slide lazily against your stomach beneath your shirt as you made your coffee, or when you didn't hear a panicked shout anytime you spotted a beetle.

"I let you in, you left me out"

Natasha Romanoff was the first person you let get close in a long time, for the fear of being abandoned. "I wouldn't leave a friend behind." The words that started your friendship, and one of her wedding vows. You opened yourself completely to her, even showing her the scarred parts left by your drug-happy and alcohol-fueled family when they'd built you. "I'll never leave you," she'd promised.

"You left me on my own, you left me all alone"

"You promised not to leave, Nat. I miss you. So much. Being alone all the time...I don't know how I used to do it..." The first 2 months after her death, the Avengers didn't see you at all, aside from the fight with Thanos. You'd ran to him, bleeding from multiple places but holding your massive longsword high as though it was nothing. The sound of it going through his leg could be heard above all the chaos. "You ruined everything!" You screamed at him.

"I let you in, you bled me out"

You almost bled to death when you stabbed Thanos. He'd pulled the longsword out of his thigh and slammed it into your stomach with a pained smirk. "I fixed everything. It was your puny race that ruined things," he replied. After all was said and done, the Avengers almost couldn't repair the damage. If Dr.Cho was a minute late, you would have died.