Classified light- a criminal minds fan fiction

Goodnight

Cameron struggled to keep her eyes open on with every step she took on her way to her apartment from a long case, to say it had been tough two weeks would be the understatement of the century.

She felt more useless than ever, more confused and belittled by how much she didn't know what she was doing, only growing more and more concerned that someone would figure out the truth.

And on top of it all, it didn't help that Hotch had grown somehow colder with her, somehow more distant, somehow less human.

After their conversation in the car, she thought that it would be better between them that he would show more of that softness that she was surprised that she had enjoyed seeing, that softness that made her stomach flip and question if he had just been pretending to be cold this whole time. 

But instead, he got colder. 

He became more distant, more heartless, more focused on 'just getting the job done' than ever, not just with the whole team, it seemed all his coldness was used up on her unless he had the urge to tell her off.

He paired her with Reid a lot so she would mostly stay at the stations on cases and pretend to know what Reid was talking about with the geographical profiles. 

He pushed her to do her filing and paper work, of which she was very good at, alone and often sent her home early to do it. He made sure she was around him as little as possible. She assumed that she had struck a nerve without knowing, that she had annoyed him somehow, that she had done something wrong. She felt a small pit of something at the fact he was so cold with her but she figured it was the best, she could fly under the radar and keep her cover if the boss was ignoring her. But still, she couldn't help the unpleasant feeling when his eyes avoided her and looked disinterested whenever she spoke.

Cameron wrapped her coat around herself as she continued her walk home, the dimming skylight getting darker out as the day crept to evening as her bag of work stuff from the case dragged along the floor before she heard her phone buzz, wanting to vomit on the spot thinking about being called back into work, instead spotting messages in the team group chat. 

'Since we've had a hard few weeks and still haven't properly celebrated Cam joining the team what do we all think about a drinks night tonight?- Morgan'

Cameron didn't respond, she hadn't responded to any of the messages in the group chat before. She felt like she didn't belong there, like a fly on the wall of their conversation but not feeling important enough to join in.

'I'm in!- Garcia'

'Always down for a drink, shall we say the bar on 2nd street in an hour?- Emily'

'I'm going to pass on this one, gotta get back to see Henry and Will- JJ'

'Party pooper :(- Emily'

'Pretty boy, you're coming right?- Morgan'

'...- Reid'

'Come on Reid, you've missed the last 3 team drinks, you have to come- Garcia'

Cameron read the messages as she sat down on her sofa alone, feeling the isolation of her small apartment since Radomir was still with Jillian, the team not meant to be back until tomorrow so Jillian had taken him to her cabin for the two week case to explore the woods which was nice for him after living in the city and just going to parks and walks around the city at night.

She forced herself off her sofa and sighed at the spooked food in her fridge as her phone continued to ping.

'Cameron, are you there?- Emily'