Daydream

XVIII

I sat on the stool in my art room drawing in my sketchbook. It was already almost six at night the next day and Mel hadn't come back. I grabbed my phone checking his location again seeing he still had it turned off. I went to our messages contemplating if I should text him or not. Even if he came back tonight it's not like we would just forget what happened and act all normal. I typed into the message bar asking where he was. I sat there for a minute thinking about if I should send it or not.

If Mel wanted to talk to me then he would've reached out to me. I deleted the message feeling tears start to form in my eyes. He would come back eventually so there was no need for me to get so upset about it. I locked my phone quickly wiping my eyes so the tears wouldn't fall. I put away my sketchbook not in the mood for doing anything anymore. I stood from my seat walking into the bedroom. I crawled into bed pulling the covers over me. I wanted Mel with me. I hated being mad at each other. Especially over something like this. I understood what he was saying but I feel like it's just not something he needs to worry about so there was no need to argue about it.

I reached over grabbing my phone again not able to bare the thought of laying here another night without knowing he was okay. I called him twice but he didn't answer. I went to our messages instead finally sending a text asking where he was. I stared at my screen for a minute before putting my phone down. I laid awake for awhile waiting but never got a response.

***

I sat in the shower for awhile after waking up. I had woken up a little later than I usually would. My eyes were puffy and my body felt a little weak. I tried getting up to do things that would keep me busy and my mind off things but I couldn't help my thoughts drifting to Mel. I thought taking a shower would help but I just ended up thinking even more than I already was. Mel hadn't texted or called me back last night or this morning but he had work tomorrow so I'm sure he'd come home today at least.

I took a deep breath washing my body again before getting out of the shower. I moisturized my body putting on one of Mel's shirts and some underwear after I got out. I looked at the time seeing it was almost seven at night. I groaned plopping on the bed. I didn't want to seem like I was being too pushy so I didn't send Mel another text just to give him the space he wants right now. I just wanted to know he was okay. I sighed staring up at the ceiling. I shouldn't act like I can't function without him when that's not the case. I feel like if one day we weren't together I'd be just fine without him eventually but just not right now. I was too much of an over thinker about almost anything. I sat up picking up the laundry basket to fold some clothes. I wanted to keep myself moving to stop myself from thinking too hard. I grabbed the remote turning on the tv to some show I had been watching recently while I folded up the laundry.

I was almost done folding the laundry until my eyes darted to the bedroom door as I heard the front door open. My stomach dropped knowing that it was more than likely Mel. I felt butterflies hearing his footsteps coming towards the room. I couldn't deny the fact that I missed him of course but it wasn't like I could just jump into his arms. I looked over at him as he came through the door. I felt my heartbeat racing seeing him pull off his sweatshirt.

"Hey." I said softly barely even audible. "Wassup." He mumbled putting his hoodie in the closet. I looked down at the clothes I folded getting the clear impression that he didn't want to talk. Even if he didn't, we needed to. Especially with these two days of absolutely no communication.

"You didn't call me back... or send a text." I said softly. He sighed as he pulled off his shoes. "What do you want me to say? That I didn't see them?" He said. "I just want a response, you don't have to act so hostile." I said softly looking over at him. "I'm not, I saw them I just didn't feel like responding." He said sounding bored. I frowned looking back down at the clothes. He would never be seriously mean to me but today was different. "You could've at least told me you were fine." I said moving my gaze back to him. He looked over at me and I could see how low and red his eyes were. He must've been smoking. "Well I'm here right now." He said. "Mel why are yo-" he stopped me before I could finish. "I don't feel like talking about anything right now." He mumbled walking towards the bathroom.

I clenched my fist feeling tears well up in my eyes. I didn't say anything as he walked into the bathroom closing the door behind him. I felt my lip start to quiver as tears fell down my face. Mel would rarely get upset like this. Even when he was really upset about something it'd take maybe a few hours for him to talk to me about it. I didn't know he would take this so harshly. I thought it'd be a simple understanding that Jay was someone I'd be working with and Mel just accepting it. Considering how long we've been together I really don't know why he's worried about anything. I didn't think this would make him as mad as this at all.

I wiped my eyes knowing more tears would fall just as quickly as I wiped them away. I picked up the clothes I folded putting them away in the drawers. Afterwards I grabbed the basket going to put it in the laundry room. I sat in the laundry room for awhile as my thoughts started to surface. What if Mel never got over this? What if this was the end? My stomach started to turn at the thought. It couldn't be that serious right? I would just stop talking to Jay all together if that was on the line. I let out a shaky breath walking back to the room. I sat down on the bed grabbing a tissue from the nightstand wiping my nose. I jumped slightly hearing the bathroom door open. I quickly wiped my eyes again throwing the tissue in the trash can near the bed.

I took a deep breath trying to calm down my heart that was beating out of my chest. I didn't like that I cried so much and I didn't want Mel to know that I was crying. I looked over seeing him sit down on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He ran his hands down his face letting out a quiet sigh. I hesitantly crawled across the bed towards him stopping a few inches away from him. "Mel, why don't you want to talk?" I asked putting my hands in my lap. He looked over at me with low eyes. "I'm tired, that's all." He said. He looked bad. Like he hadn't slept for weeks. It had only been two days since I last saw him. Mel was someone who always kept his appearance up so seeing him actually look like this was concerning. I slid my hands up his back wrapping them around him. "I'm sorry." I said softly laying my head on his back. He didn't say anything. I felt my throat tighten as tears welled up in my eyes. Was he actually this upset that he couldn't even talk to me? I lifted my head off of his back as tears fell down my face.

"Please, just say something." I said shakily moving my arms from around him to wipe my face. He sighed turning towards me. His expression changed when he saw me. "Hey, why're you crying?" He asked as his voice softened grabbing my wrists. "Why're you so mad at me? I'll stop talking to him really, it's not worth it if it ruins our relationship." I cried as he wiped the tears under my eyes with his thumb. "Hey hey relax, I'm not mad at you." He said reassuringly holding my face. "Then why don't you want to talk? Did I do something wrong?" I asked sniffling. "It wasn't your fault baby you didn't do anything wrong." He said as if he couldn't believe I thought that. "Then why?" I asked closing one of my eyes as his thumb slid across it. He hesitated for a minute before speaking. "I just couldn't face you knowing that I still haven't gotten out of my immature tendencies, being jealous and insecure over things when I don't need to be." He said staring into my eyes. "You don't have to be jealous or feel insecure, I wouldn't let anyone feel like they could take me from you. Me leaving you is not something you ever have to worry about unless I choose to do it myself, not because of anyone else." I said shaking my head.

He gave me a small smile caressing the side of my face. "I know love, I felt so dumb when I thought back on it because I was being so mean to you over something so insignificant." He said wiping my eyes again. "I'm not going to stop what you want to do so if you have work you want to do with him then you should okay?" He said tilting his head slightly. "Mhmm." I hummed nodding my head. "I love you." I said wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you so much more." He said lowly.

I sniffled looking down at the bed. "You really hurt my feelings." I said softly. "I'm really really sorry, I'll tell you a million times." He said lowly pushing my head up lightly so that I was looking at him again. "I won't do this again, I hated not sleeping with you at night and to see you all sad crying because of me." He said leaning in kissing my forehead. I smiled slightly bringing both my hands down to his chest as he kissed all over my face until he got to my lips. He kissed me intensely before wrapping his arms around me hugging me tightly. I already knew that if we just talked about it things would be okay. I'm just glad we did sooner rather than later because I knew it could've been worse. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his torso hugging him back. "Please don't act like this again, I hated it." I said softly. His grip around me tightened as he buried his head into my neck. "I'm sorry baby, I won't." He mumbled against my neck.

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I personally feel like

I just wanted to add an emotional scene I thought the constant sex was getting repetitive >.<