hopeless purpose (dreamnotfound)

promised intentions

tw:// brief self harm mention

the pair left the small cafe after sitting in each others presence for a while. it was now 4:36 am. not much had been said after the small interaction with the cigarettes and lollipop other than insignificant comments about unimportant things. both boys were now standing just outside the cafe doors in silence, shifting uncomfortably while staring at their own feet. 

"so..." dream spoke up awkwardly.

george looked up with interest. however, he too didn't know what to say, despite his mind racing.

"i sort of have school soon" dream trailed off. george let his eyes drift back to the ground. "but," he continued, "i don't ever really go. and i think i'd regret it if i didn't get a way to a least keep in contact with you." george perked up a bit at this. 

"i don't have my phone", george tentatively murmured. he didn't want dream to leave him. if dream left, he'd go back to his house, alone, and that's when george's thoughts get dangerous.  

dream is slightly relieved that george didn't downright reject his advances, but he doesn't show his relief outwardly. "it's no big deal, i'll write my number on your hand." george watches as dream roots around again in his deep pockets, assumingly searching for a pen or marker. 

eventually, he pulls one out and gently reaches forward for george's wrist. george knows what's coming next, so he looks away off into the distance, pretending to be admiring something interesting. in reality, george was staring at nothing at all; his mind too busy to focus on anything in particular.

dream uncaps the blue pen he had stored in his pocket, placing the cap in between his teeth as he pushes up george's sleeve ever so slightly. 

the blonde is faced with a sad sight. one that made his heart ache for the brunet in front of him. they were almost impossible to see against his already pale skin, but dream noticed. noticed the tens of thin lines marking up the brunet's wrist. however, they'd only just met and dream didn't feel that it was his place to call such a thing out, so he stayed quiet. silently biting his tongue to ensure he doesn't produce any sort of reaction that could be misinterpreted.

he just carried on scribbling down his phone number onto the scarred wrist, until the last digit was written. he then withdrew the cap from his mouth with a click and gently rolled george's sleeve back down, holding onto his wrist as if he were a porcelain doll before letting it fall back down to his side.

george felt a bit of a stab at his heart  from the interaction, but regardless, internally thanked dream for not mentioning anything about it. he once again locked eyes with the blonde and pursed his lips a bit. both of them relishing in the last moments before they'd inevitably part ways, both analyzing every feature of the other one more time.

so many things left unsaid, but both knew they'd have to part eventually. with green eyes boring into brown, george let out a sad and empty, "goodbye dream." he felt a burning sensation rise in his throat and a pressure on his eyes, tears threatening to unleash. he knew if he stayed and longer  then he wouldn't be able to contain his emotions anymore. he wouldn't let himself break down in front of a stranger. so with one last glance at the pretty face in front of him, he turned and walked away.

he couldn't contain the tears anymore. choked sobs made their way past his lips before he had time to stifle them. he lacked the energy to walk all the way back to his home when he knew what he'd come back to. knew what the outcome of being alone again would cause. that small flicker of temporary joy that dream had lit in his heart was burning george from the inside out, screaming at him to not go home. for if he did, that flickering would be put out for good, taking george with it. but still, george's legs continued to push him forwards, farther and farther away from his light. he was relying solely on his leg's ability to move now, with his vision far too obscured from tears to be any help.

"wait!" a voice called out to him. george stopped in his tracks, biting his lip in anticipation for what was to follow. "will i see you again?" dream asked.

had he not been in so much pain, george may have laughed at that. will he see me again? george thought. he wasn't entirely sure of what answer to give. the polite, normal thing to do would be to say "yes of course!", but that just wouldn't be realistic. george didn't know if he would even be alive in the next hour, let alone whatever day dream planned to meet with him next. but he couldn't exactly tell dream all that. so instead, he replied without turning around, without letting dream see his inner turmoil, with, "yes, of course."

george began walking forwards again because his bottom lip was beginning to bleed with the sheer amount of pressure he was biting into it with. the taste of metal grossly filling his mouth, but dream stopped him again with one simple word. a word that nearly made his heart stop right then and there.

"promise?"

promise... could george even respond to that question without being a liar? because truth was, he couldn't promise that at all. but his usually soothing voice sounded so vulnerable in that moment. like he was depending on george to give him the only answer he needed to hear. now thinking back to the blonde's sweet face and bright eyes, george knew he couldn't lie. he couldn't afford to ever hurt those eyes that were so full of life. so unlike his own. and whether it would be a promise to himself or to dream, he intended to try his best to not go back on his word. so taking a deep breath in, and placing a shaky, broken smile on his face despite the fact that the blonde could only see the back of his head, he replied,

"i promise."

and walked away.

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(1040 words)