Chapter 15 - Disappoint

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‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ CHOI HANEUL ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙

It's been weeks of not seeing Heeseung. Actually, not seeing any of the guys.

Even my brother doesn't come home that much anymore, and when he is home, he simply just chase all the sleep that he lacked through the days.

The company was choosing the debut members by the end of the week. As their first boy group is now getting recognized in the industry locally and internationally, the company believed that it was time.

I could see how physically exhausted the guys were at school. After classes going straight to practice and evaluations.

"I feel really worried about them, Haneul."

Kaila started speaking as we ate our lunch together. The guys weren't here today, they had to prepare for a major evaluation for today and they were all excused from their classes.

I sighed as I lazily picked up food from my plate, "I am too. But all we can do now is have faith in them, and be there no matter what the results are."

It was nerve-wracking, the way that these boys have probably poured every inch of their passion into something that isn't even sure. I couldn't imagine myself doing that, for so long too.

That is when you know that they truly love what they do. Even if the end results seem so far off like it isn't even true.

Kaila dropped her utensils and looked at me. I could see the restlessness in her eyes as if it has always been there all along. She looked down before speaking her concerns to me, "I'm going to be heartbroken if they don't debut."

As silence engulfed us, she looked up at me expectantly, "Is there any information about how many members there would be?"

I bit my lip hoping that I had the answer to her question, but I didn't.

It was another concern of ours. We hoped for the six of them to debut together. After all, they have all been friends for so long and have practiced together for longer. 

But the company doesn't disclose any information about it at all. I sighed and rested my chin on the palm of my hands as I leaned my elbow on the table. "None, I'm guessing seven? Since BTS had seven members."

My head started hurting from nerves and frustration as I continued, "We really don't know Kaila."

As we bask in silence. Something came over me. If only some of them make it how am I going to react? Should I be happy? Should I celebrate?

Or should I be sad and console the others?

What if none of them gets in?

My thoughts were interrupted when Kaila suddenly placed his head down the table as she groaned in frustration. 

"I miss Soobin." She whispered.

I laughed feeling her sentiment and then asked, "How have you guys been?"

That was when I saw why Kaila looked so worn down. As soon as I asked her the question, she immediately looked up at me from her position and her eyes screamed all that she felt.

My suspicions were proven correct as she answered my query, "I don't know? After the busy schedules and all,  we barely even talk. Haneul, even through texts I can feel how distant we are."

As she released her frustrations, I saw her eyes starting to water. She looked terrified, "I feel so detached from him, Haneul. It's scary."

"I feel envious of you and Heeseung. Somehow you guys make it work." She sighed once again clearly aggravated over what their relationship has been leading into. "Always finding time to be together." she continued describing Heeseung and I's relationship.

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