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- And we almost, we almost knew what love was, but almost is never enough.
- Ariana Grande & Nathan Sykes. -
I am now 22. All grown up, I know. I also am now standing in front of Belfield. Yes, I am back, bithches. No, I am not here for some bitter past. I am over it now, ... and not willing to fall back into that abyss again. Having said that, probably better to walk faster to avoid the satan herself showing up, giving that I literally am standing right at her habitat.
My legs are walking, but my eyes, on the other hand, are wandering. There you go, the familiar blue eyes. Happy now? huh? eyes? Wow, I almost forget them. My eyes darken, the world stopped moving for a split moment. Suddenly I forgot how to walk or talk (or move, in general). Another problem, though, those doe eyes are currently staring right at my soul. 'look down, look down, look down' I thought to myself, but my eyes refused to retire themselves from hers. My heart is pounding, the longing in it intensified.
"Hey," she smiled while getting closer.
My brows furrowed. Why. I looked down at my feet.
She just stands right here in front of me. I can now breath in her scent again, the smell that never left my mind even after all those years.
"Why" is all I can manage to get out.
I hear a slight sigh. Her lips compressed, her arms reach for my, now trembling, body. I pressed my head against her chest. I can hear her heart pounding against my ear. The confusion is overwhelming. This is what I have wanted most, yet I do not what to experience what I just got over with again, not anymore. She holds me tighter, resting her chin on my head. I finally look up to meet her eyes.
"Charlotte, why?"
She just looks at me, stroking my head softly.
"How are you, Sam?"
"Should we forget about the past, is that how you cope?" I muttered.
I mean, after you left me in bits and pieces? fine, I guess.
"Fine, I guess," I whispered, trying to swallow my tears. I just feel so frustrated that I cannot figure out why she acted the way she did.
She bends down to examine my face before whipping off my tears with her finger.
"You always cry when you with me, Sam." We broke from our hug; she reached for my hand instead.
I cannot find words to reply to her; many thoughts are running through my head. I could only manage to stare at her. We are about 2 inches apart with her heels on, so actually staring at her lips. I compressed mine from reaching for them, there is an urge for desire within me, but now I am too frustrated/angry to even touch her.
"Hey, it's ok. I'm here now."
How could she say that after all those years.
My hand formed a tight fist. "But you weren't," I whispered to my feet. My tears are all dried out, left with only an anger in my eyes.
"Do you want to grab a cup of tea?" she asked.
"No, Charlotte. You do not get to do this again!" I shot at her, while shook my hand off hers before quickly walking away from her. This is best for me. I should do what is best for myself.
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I am back at my house in London, the house that my dad left for me. It is an empty house still with some essential like beds and tables already there. I am sitting in the reading room, reading through documents to figure out what to do next. There is a sharp object poking my butt, it is a small blue box. I cannot remember why it is here, I was only here once like four years ago, four years ago... Then I remember what it is. I put the box away, thinking that I would not open it.
By the way, I now have a cat, a brand new cat straight from the street! Charlie is her name, very suitable name for her pretty orange and white face! She then push the blue box off the kitchen counter.
"You don't like her too, do you?" I asked her.
She meowed back at me, then making her way to sit next to me, leaning her head against my butt, purring softly. I stroke her head, rubbing between her ears. She loves that. She is just the cutest little fur ball. I met her wandering in her skinny body just an hour ago outside my house. Without the collar, I assumed she was up for grabbing, so I just casually let her in my house and now look at us; we are basically BFF.
I bored with all these documents, the long-established business cannot collapse in one day, right? so I decided to go out to get this little miss Lizzie food and furniture instead. I was walking down the street. There is a pet shop just around the corner. I grab everything I think she needs, a bright red collar to show the world she is mine, a litter box, cat sand, cat shampoo, and a soft fluffy cloud shaped bed. While I was enjoying picking stuff for her, small arms are wrapping around my waist. To my surprise, I looked down, seeing another familiar face.
"Alex, wow you are all grown up now, buddy!" I was surprised how much he has grown.
"Yes, I'm in third grade now!" He said proudly.
"Wow, I almost forget how long I've been gone! What are you doing here?"
"We moved here a year ago to Liv's house just around the corner," he said excitedly.
"Cool, I also live nearby." I still surprise by how grown up he is, forming full sentences now and able to hold a normal conversation. I pat his head a few times lovingly.
"You know what, I just got a new cat, do you want to meet her?" I suggested.
"Yesss," he screamed.
"Where is your house then, let's drop by and let your dad know first," I smiled.
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I am holding his hand, while walking to his house. It is just two streets away from mine. Mark answered the door, looking unsurprisingly surprised to see me.
"Hi Mark," I said hesitantly, unsure if he remembers me.
"Wow, you changed a lot! so grown up!" he does then.
"Thank you.. I guess." I said.
"Daddy, can I go hang out with Sam?" Alexis asked impatiently.
"Umm, I met him accidentally at the pet store," I explain.
"Yes, but be back for dinner," he said. "Why don't you join us, Sam?" he added.
"I would love that, we will be back here by seven then?"
