Acrimony: Until Death

One Hundred Miles

October 2019

As our trip neared my body was so out of it. My damn body just ached. Not just from getting my ass beat. I don't know if it was remorse...or just chill satisfaction but the day I got home from work with my new outfit and all. He just went nuts when I walked in the door. It was a blur....its hard to remember. "Often times our brains lock things up." Yeah, well I just know that I remember him standing over me. He stopped kicking me...I felt the blood you know. Its fucked up that my phantom period just showed up. Ruining a perfect new skirt. I dont know if it freaked him out or not. I just know he stopped. Stared long and hard, then picked me up. Carried me upstairs into the bathroom and started stripping me. "Melinda...you're rocking. Take a few breaths." ......I....I thought he was gonna exercise the control he had been ranting about. I thought he'd really just rape me...bloody and all. He didn't....he put me in the tub.....turned the water on....put some music on.....and called himself caressing my head.

"Then what happened?" He washed me.....it was so fucked up. Touches lingering here and there...I didnt feel like I was getting clean. I just cried....I was so fucking scared. So scared......my brain was so...I don't know. I just know I was confused. He literally had just beat me....and then now bathing me. I was in shock.....that frozen type. Just boneless worth nothing. He got me out of that pink water.....found me some panties....even put a pad on them for me. That fucking bastard put one of his shirts on me.

A claim....but I felt so small and somehow processed that as love? "He commissioned you to convert abuse as love. Not uncommon in severe abusive relationships. That is something scientists are actively studying. Lots of women after freedom began to be unable to cope with a normal life. Often times seems crazy we psychologists recommend alternative ways to fill that void." Well whatever the fuck it was aint right. He put me to bed, and then kissed me. Not giving a fuck that it wasnt reciprocated. 'I love you Melinda...Gayle.' A crock of bullshit. I just know I had pain a week after that beating I just couldn't shake.

Melinda scowled attempting to make her coffee for the 4th time. Something just wasn't right. Nothing was right. She just felt so irritable. Putting in her cream and sugar she didn't hear the click of Ferragamo dress shoes approaching. Or the smell of him. If she had she wouldn't have reacted so harshly. Grabbing her cup she turned to exit not expecting Derrick to be right there. Melinda jumped out of her Christian Louboutin's literally. Tossing her coffee in the process. Derrick cursed as the hot liquid hit him.

"Son of bitch that's fucking hot." He blurted, pinching his shirt away from his skin. Had she not have been utterly terrified the first curse words she heard out his mouth would have been hot.

"Oh my god! I'm so so so sorry! I didnt hear you....or see you! God I'm an idiot! Are you okay?" She rushed, into one slurred sentence. Once the heat died he waved her off to calm down.

"I'll clean it up! I'm so sorry!" She blurted, he held a finger up walking away. She felt her tears drop. She was so fired. Give your boss burns? Probably not employee of the month material. Cleaning up she decided against coffee today. Heading in search of him she knocked on his office door. Opening it she caught him finishing the last buttons of a new shirt.

"Are you okay?" She softly tossed.

"I'm fine Mellie. Calm down, it was an accident. Stop looking at me like I'm gonna take your head off." He spoke, eyes laced with concern. She blinked looking down at her trembling hands. Taking a deep breath. This was Derrick....not Robert.

"Sorry."

"Hey....come sit down. Are you okay? You've been out of it the last couple days." He pointed out, she nodded even though she just wanted to cry. Look at her fucking up. That's all she did. She hadn't known she was zoned out until he was in her face. She flinched making his eyes suddenly blaze.