CONNECTED

46.

Nicole.

"Girl, you gone make yourself sick with all that crying." Ms. Yolanda fussed at me. "What I told you about that?"

"I'm already sick and I just can't help it." I shook my head, placing an already wet and used tissue over my face. "I'm hurting so bad and I'm so tired of always coming back to this point with this Man."

Today was Sunday so we of course were having Sunday Dinner and instead of joining everybody else outside on the Patio, I was sitting in the kitchen crying my eyes out to Ms. Yolanda about Tae and I's relationship.

"A lot of it comes from you wanting total control— don't look at me like that Nicole!" She caught my attitude. "You know I don't take sides and I'll always tell the both of you right and wrong."

"Things would be easier if he'd just do what I say." She laughed but I was dead serious. "We wouldn't have any problems at all."

"That's how you feel but he's not a Robot and you can't turn him into one." She told me sternly.

"Unfortunately" I mumbled under my breath. "Aren't you tired of talking to me about this same thing? I know you are." I definitely needed to put her on my payroll as much as I vented to her.

"No I'm not, Baby. I'm used to y'all bumping heads and as sad as it is, I'll be here to have many more talks about it if you need it." She sat a piece of Pecan Pie in front of me along with a fork. "Now come outside and stop being all in your feelings. I'm sure everybody looking for you."

"He's not even here. I bet he's with whatever girl he's cheating on me with." I brung up Tae, not giving a damn about everybody else.

"He's coming, Baby." We cut our conversation off, heading outside with everybody else. Mila also decided to show her face after her fiasco of a outing party last weekend. We were giving each other the silent treatment— mine was because I literally had nothing in me to give; and hers was out of fear. She didn't know how to take me and I hadn't said anything to her about it at all so she had no clue how I felt, or if Ray had reacted in any way.

"You okay?" Korea moved my purse for me so I could sit down. "You look like you been crying."

"I'm good" I started eating my pie. "Just thinking about Tae."

"I'll keep your kids tonight so you can have the night to yourself." She offered. "You know I got the space." She and Julio still were at odds at well. He'd taken his House off the market and officially was back to living like a Bachelor.

"Maybe" I picked a few fresh pecans off the top of my pie. I didn't like too many and Ms. Yolanda could get carried away with the pecans at times. "I've been letting them both sleep in the bed with me all week." I implied I'd be missing them without actually coming out and telling her.

"Well the offer is on table."

"Thank you"

"Mommy, Troi threw sand in my face!" Taejin ran up to me out of nowhere. "Look!" I closed my eyes and counted to ten as he shook his sandy ass hair all into my pie. "My eye burns!" He busted out in tears.

"Let me see" I grabbed his face in my hand, trying to pry his eye open with the other one. I blew air into his eye as he squirmed around, crying like it was the end of the world.

"Blow again, Mommy!" I did as he said. "I still feel it!"

"Come on, let's go inside to the bathroom." I picked him up and carried him into the House. Ignoring the loud TV's and talking, I carried my Son to the hall bathroom, sitting him on the counter.

"You gotta keep it open so I can see Taejin." I told him calmly as he continued to cry in panic.

"It hurts!" He cried harder. "I can't hold it open!"