Clone wars Crosshair imagines/one shots

My dear, Crosshair.

This one deals with cutting and attempted suicide. Please read with caution. If your ever feeling down know there's always someone to help, may it be the suicide prevention line, a friend, or just a stranger on the internet. There's always someone to help. Your never alone.

Every year everyone on the planet got a box of things they lost.

May it be from that year or years before.

The day was coming up. June 7th. It made it kind of special cause it was a day before my birthday.

A knock at the door brought me back from my daydreams. I stood up and made my way to the door, excited to see what the box stored for me this year. I opened the door and picked it up, it was a smaller box this time. I lifted it and brought it to my couch, I cut open the tape and opened the flaps with care.

The first thing I saw was my stuffed kitten that I had as a child. I named her phoebe.

A bit dirty but still held that love that I carried for her as a child. Tears creased my eyes as I held her once more. I looked for months for this toy but never found her.

The next thing was a shiny white rock.

As a kid me, my siblings, and parents would go gold sifting in the river nearby to see if we could find stuff. Never did but I found this shiny rock near the shore and kept it for good luck. I felt the lines in its surface and smiled, remembering the memories of my siblings as kids.

The last thing was 3 letters.

My eyebrows tied together in confusion.

I picked the top one up, it had a heart on the front. I already knew who it was from by the way the heart was colored. I set down phoebe and opened the card gently to not rip it. I took out the folded paper and began reading.

My love, y/n

I hope this letter finds you easy. I miss you every day I don't see you. The noise is loud but I learn to live with it. Tech's good! His injury healed up well. Sleep talked a lot which was kind of funny. Speaking of funny, I've been kind of feeling it. Something in my brain it feels. They don't believe me though. We're on our way to Kaller to help a young Jedi. Caleb was his name. He's a kid full of excitement, I can tell. Reminds me of you. I'll write you again.

Crosshair.

Y/n held in her tears, her dear Cross. She picked up the second letter, opening with care.

Y/n,

I'm scared. Something is in my brain. Those clones killed Caleb's master, and something makes me want to do it too. Hunter stopped me from trying to kill him. He told me the kid was gone, dead when he fell from the cliff. I know he's lying. Tech told us of order 66. Whatever it is. I'll still follow it. Orders are orders. God they don't listen. Never did, never will. We're going back to Kamino to figure it out, I sure as hell don't want to go back to that place. Those damned kaminoans testing on me. Day and night. I don't want to go.... I really don't... Tech's here for me thankfully but... just the thought of it, ya know? I'll keep you updated. I love you y/n. I hope your okay. <3

Crosshair.

The tears fell faster and faster and tainted the card. The last letter.

He's gone. My god he's gone. The chip got to him before we could and he's fucking gone. I tried everyday to test on myself, see what worked to get him back. But that look in his eyes was not our Crosshair. Pure black. Almost took Wreckers life. He was too far away. I was stuck in tar and he was chained up. I feel horrible for not telling you sooner, dear y/n. But we lost him just days ago... I miss my ori'vod. I miss his annoying snarky remarks. I can't help but break down every time I pass his bunk. I tried. So fucking hard, everyday. I'm so tired of the tears. The headaches. The restless nights. I had to be pried from his body that day. Im in an ocean. And it's just beating me endlessly. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Hunters devastated. Found him bleeding on the floor last night, begged to be back with him. God, the way he shook in pain. I couldn't even bare the sight of the shiny red on the floor, had to have Echo and Wrecker help him. He's doing better but everyone's worried. Worried he'll do it again. Omega the sweet kid we rescued on Kamino is a joy to have around, makes things less gloomy. She helps Hunter a lot. I know she sees him as a father figure. We all kind of do in some way. But to Crosshair, he was always his younger brother. I know Cross misses you. I always found letters he was going to send to you but messed up and threw in the trash. He was always a very talented and lovely writer. One of his charms. I know you would've wanted this, we all miss you. If your ever feeling down don't feel afraid to give us a call.

Tech.

A picture fell from the paper. A picture of all of them together, together with Crosshair as he graduated.

The big smile plastered on his face broke y/n down harder.

I cried and wailed with everything I had before I couldn't.

I drained every tear from my body so now I just choked on air. My lungs filled with briars, the pain was so much.

I held the picture close to my chest and rubbed my face.

My dear, Crosshair.