It's been a while

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Since my last message to you guys I've tried and failed to take my own life 3 times. I don't want to keep going. I can't but I guess I just have to. I don't believe in god but I guess he has more plans for me. Maybe he's just playing a sick joke on me. Maybe he actually has something more for me.
I hate every breath I take and I hate every beat of my heart. I hate it so goddamn much but ironically enough I'll have to live with it.

I'm sorry
Much resentment to life and much love to you guys
Christina

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